Disappointed at MYSELF

2011-06-19T11:54:00.003+08:00

almost a year since the last entry. when D said i'd be the loser if i couldnt hold out and wait for u to text me in a weeks time (i actually gave up on day 2), i didnt think it'd be this huge an effect.

right now, if i dont text u, i'd never hear from u. not that i do hear from u even if i do text u. ure not gone yet and it already feels that way. if this is ur form of training, then this sucks bad. whenever ure out with ur friends, ure so happy, so happy that i become just a figment of ur memories in the back of ur head. i receive no texts whatsoever.

when ure with me, all u think about is sleeping. u sleep whereever. in the car, in my room. when ure awake, ure on the phone checking FB and chatting with ur friends. and u say u dont have time to check ur phone when ure with ur friends.

Priorities. i place u as number 1 for anything. i can leave my plans early to get u, or not plan anything, just waiting to c if ure doing anything. how about u? u prioritize urself, jumping on ur own holidays when ive told u the plans (sure i didnt confirm cause i couldnt, u couldnt take the chance), going on ur own fun trips, only texting me when u needed me at the fair.

2010-09-05T10:54:00.002+08:00

Maybe u really don't want to give us a chance anymore. I don't know.

U don't seem to enjoy chatting or hanging out together as much as u did before.

I'm trying. I've changed. Now you're the 1 doing the yelling and scolding. I grit my teeth and press on.

Though i successfully managed to get Tuesday back as a date, I really hope you go there happy. If it's just going to be miserable, I'd rather get another day. All this planning is tough. I should have started earlier. Damn OT.

That night was awesome for you. So much so, i didn't get a message/call. When you hang out with me, there's no awesome in it anymore apparently.

I know i made a mistake, I'm trying to remedy it. Please accept it. Don't leave us hanging on the edge. I'm getting very tired and weak. With work piling up at the same time, life plays jokes on us.

2010-02-03T00:47:00.000+08:00

weekly shisha sessions. regular pool sessions. this is what life has been all about. lol

relaxation.

the real long days in school just drain everything outta me by the time friday comes.

then the fun weekend hits! woot! this weekend:

AIRSHOW saturday morn/afternoon

SHISHA saturday evening/night

woot woot.

Sunday empty tho. hmm... Pool? Shisha? lol

u get the point.

2009-12-24T09:42:00.003+08:00

i cant say i wasnt surprised at ur sudden revelation

sure i may have predicted 1 or 2 of them

but the trust was there. i trusted what u said.

1 thing i do know, is that i still love u the same

merry xmas.

2009-12-07T00:20:00.003+08:00

so exams are over. the last 3 papers were simply... disastrous. i totally hope i passed em so i dont have to take em ever again. besides worrying, the only other thing i can do now is have fun till results come out! woohoo!

past 2 days have been spent out. just walking around, shisha-ing and just talking cock. with more shisha sessions planned for the duration of this holiday, accompanied with other tentative plans, this holiday seems pretty darn decent.

and well, the birthday is coming soon and pressured into having some sort of gathering for my birthday. how about i choose the more laid back version of a shisha gathering, or the more hyped up hotel room gathering.

and some birthday gifts u guys should totally consider!

1) Mazda RX-8 (the real thing. i oredi have the toy car)

2) Pool table? lol

3) Megan Fox

4) Megan Fox.

5) Good exam results. or decent. whichever.

6) Rock Band 2. (inclusive of PS3 pls)

yea, any of these gifts would do. thanks! =D

2009-11-21T23:06:00.001+08:00

exams are here. MoM paper over.

better than expected i must say.

for the first time i spent so much time on past year papers and tutorials.

tutorials which shd have been done during the course of the sem.

at least i did em in the end.

with 5 papers remaining, the last week of exams prove to be the stumbling block

with 3 cores over 5 days, i must be thankful that there is a break between each paper.

2 electives next. forensic is so foreign and astro... the quiz results say it all.

at least tech comm has a B+ for speech and a B+/A- for the report itself. reasons to be happy.

2009-11-03T23:43:00.002+08:00

the past few days have been days of great discovery.

that the train is emptier when i gotta go for 1030 lessons compared to 830.

that it takes helluva long to get to school via train.

in summary, the car is back from the workshop.

back to the roads i go.

another thing i just found out.

that im in close contact with people from hall. flirting to be exact =D

that the project meetings allowed me to mingle with these "people"

who these "people" are i've no idea

cause i sure havent added any1 new to facebook recently

thank you for your wonderful appraisal of a guy

on how their feelings tend to sway

how u constantly seek to sabotage my relationship

seems to display a sense of jealousy

until i begin to use these underhand means,

you still have the upper hand

2009-09-28T01:22:00.000+08:00

just an act.

i dont care.

2009-09-24T17:57:00.002+08:00

fluids quiz tomorrow. nothing studied. nothing remembered.

tech comm lit review somewhat done

most importantly, recess week next week.

the week where every1 studies doubly hard to catch up.

the week where i drop everything and rest. LOL

im the opposite =D

after which, more quizzes. maths, forensic science

and then the presentation for tech comm.

i dread presentations.

enough of school. i wanna drive a rx8. now

2009-09-22T00:56:00.002+08:00

SIN2009. 2 years since my last SIN event.

SIN2009. got me in trouble.

Picture sums it up. Event was cool and sexy. For more, FB it.

2009-09-20T10:18:00.001+08:00

take care.

2009-09-05T12:27:00.000+08:00

the first year slowly trickles in

2009-06-26T00:45:00.002+08:00

maybe i do need some1 to talk to.

u are right. im p******* and d********.

but m i wrong to think that way?

i know whats going thru their minds.

but you dont take heed to my warnings.

thinking that its a matter of trust.

when its obviously otherwise.

for now,

i'll just keep everything back.

and head to bed.

hoping that things will be fine.

when i wake up.

2009-04-13T22:06:00.002+08:00

whilst u had so much free time to burn on facebook, doing quizzes and all, u never found the time to send me a text or ring me. and there i was trying to provide myself with a reason why you would be so busy that a simple message could not be sent. or maybe my phone was having problems in receiving messages.

but when i logged into facebook, i saw what u had been busy with. congratulations.

all the time i put reasons into my head as to why you cant find the time to contact me. and time and time again, that very reason that i conjured would be shot down cause i would chance upon the real reason. guess my luck is kinda good in this sense. if only it'd be better in other senses.

exams start tomorrow. preparations start today. the true role model student i am.

Jerold vs The Exams. Round 1 starts in ETA 15 hours time.

First Opponent : FE1007 Mathematics

here we go again.

2009-01-31T09:06:00.001+08:00

The words play over repeatedly in my head...

Unreasonable ASSHOLE...

2009-01-19T00:48:00.002+08:00

apparently it's been 5 months since my last blog post or so i've been told. within the period of time, i've since gotten together with a certain person, had my semester papers, enjoyed a pretty darn short holiday, gotten back results and started semester 2.

results of semester 1 papers.. a GPA of 3.03... i dont even know if i should be happy with that but i sure as hell am relieved that i passed maths. it was 1 of the papers where i came out of the examination hall feeling totally fucked over. lol. priniciples of econs was the shocker and got me my highest grade of B. yea highest grade = B. not even a B+ or A-. kinda depressing too. but oh wells, at least i progress on to semester 2 without the need to retake any modules.

semester 2 has been tiring to say the least. i mean, starting the week on monday with a 10 hour school session just reminds me of primary/secondary school. but hmm even back then we only spent like 6 to 7 hours in school a day. a 5 day school week makes thing worse when i see others enjoying 3 day weeks and all. hopefully the end of this semester will see me pulling up my grades but i don't see myself doing well in modules like "effective communication" or "chemistry". not my strongest fields anyhow. reckless picking of electives also see me picking up a module called "what is cinema". lessons so far seems like a whole load of bullshit involving a "lecturer" screening weird ass films (not the popular 1s we're used to viewing in a cinema) and then giving us a whole lot of his thoughts. i mean he showed a 3min clip of a guy hitting ping pong balls..... with no speech. just balls. amazing... and kinda boring too. hopefully the exam won't be too hard to score in. i always have the trusty "S/U" option. lol.

on another note, am i too straightforward in my thinking. i've just been told that in my world, i only see the black and white zone... and that the gray zone actually does exist. maybe i do need to change the way i think.. to make it easier to communicate with every1 else. i admit that i do insist on things being done 1 way or the other but that's after weighing the pros and cons of both sides. is that wrong too? maybe it is better to leave everything in the gray area and not treat stuff as being the right or wrong decision.

hopefully missing you will cure this illness.

2008-09-24T00:27:00.002+08:00

as the birthday celebrations are over, the cab ride home with shaun was insightful. thanks bro.

jo's birthday celebration was at ALOHA LOYANG (which is really far leh jo. ass). before heading down, was treated to a delicious piece of news. 1 which i had to dig out myself. guess you never had the intention to tell me.

met weili and hit the arcade before going down to the chalet to catch up with the other guys whom i havent met in a long time. as we sat down and played cards, mahjong and finally taboo, my mind was always focused on what you told me. even people around me could tell i wasnt my normal self. thats how distracted i was.

i made a phone call to you. and you told me "at least he thinks im important". so to you, ive never found you important. please ask the people around me what they think about your sentence. if i didnt find you important, would i have done all that i did for you? maybe i just havent done enough eh?

im CONFUSED. im LOST. i dont even know what i just wrote in this FUCKING blog post. im gonna go sleep now.

you dont think you're important to me?

i'll do something to show you what you mean to me.

FOR YOU.

2008-09-15T21:26:00.002+08:00

as the white stripe goes away...

for those who have seen my lancer recently, u wouldve noticed the white bumper mounted on a all black car. who wouldve thought that was the effect of a really moronic accident (reversing into a wall whilst parking in my very own condo which ive parked in for many many times).
the first thought i had when i was told my new bumper was gonna be white, was 1 that the car would look like a freak. sure, it did sound weird for a black car to have a white ass. as i went to collect my car back from my uncle, the sight that i saw was 1 which i loved so much. i grew fond of the white stripe. no idea if you guyz that saw it liked it though.

i thought what mattered was if i liked it. apparently, it doesnt work that way in my family. so 1st, im now told to take public transport if im going out with my friends. only allowed to drive when its for the family or for the 2 rare days of going to school. then suddenly, news breaks to me that my car will be picked up by the uncle tomorrow for a paint job. there goes the white stripe. was i ever consulted for my opinion? democracy doesnt exist. dictatorship does. as my white stripe disappears, i wonder whats gonna happen to the rest of the car with little use.

if u guyz still wanna meet me out late at night, gimme a lift. im too broke to cab midnight surcharge anymore. i always thought it was right to send my friends home if i make em stay out past midnight. but apparently the family doesnt think so. i should dump my friends and make a beeline home and get em to cab home emselves. im such a saint.

take care guyz

2008-09-11T01:27:00.002+08:00

its been awhile again since my last post. getting hard to regularly update this blog with my desktop in the final stages of its life. speaking of final stages of life, ive seen for my own eyes how a person's life can abruptly shorten and come to an end.

this started approximately a year back when initial news of my aunt's cancer came to our knowing. back then, she still looked as healthy as ever. keeping up her pace in maintaining the household of my 2nd aunt, and taking care of my bed-ridden grandma. my aunt had definitely put in a lot of effort to help others, to the extent that she didnt enjoy life's pleasures herself. trips to foreign countries were few and even then, it'll be short trips to nearby countries. back then, it was known that she wanted to visit korea. a wish which would never be met.

fast forward a few months of treatment and all. aunt was told that the illness was clearing. surely, every1 was pleased and life went back to normal for all of us. she continued watching over the household of her younger sis and continued with the routine feeding, cleaning and what nots of the elderly grandma. all of a sudden this year, my aunt complained of irritations and problems breathing. symptoms she had been so familiar with during the earlier courses of the cancer stages. doctor then confirmed that, the illness was back again.

the doctor, careful not to let my aunt know, informed my 2nd aunt that she had only 6 months left max. this news spread amongst the family and preparations were under way. 2nd aunt's family wanted to bring her on a trip to korea, the place she so longed to go. but with all the sudden care and attention, it was pretty much evident to her that her life wasn't gonna last. she rejected the offer to go to korea. and continued looking after the grandma. even when she knew her time was coming to an end, she continued on.

before even half the 6 predicted months had passed, its 05/09/08 (also the fateful day i rammed my car's rear bumper into the wall but thats another story). before this day, my aunt had already been warded. on this day, the doctor informed us that the amount of morphine given to my aunt had been increased. as her breathing became more and more laboured, we all knew that it was coming to an end. the doctor confirmed with us that she had only 1-2 days left.

just as the doctor had said, my aunt passed away peacefully in her sleep at 2AM 07/09/08.

all her funeral preparations were pre-arranged by her. she had informed my 2nd aunt of which companies to call and who should be told of her death. she had known that her time was coming to an end. and faced it bravely.

i miss her. may she rest in peace.

2008-08-25T15:44:00.003+08:00

having being bugged by people to update my blog recently. here i am.

check this out.
Aerosmith Live
Travis Barker playing Low!

the wonders of youtube. travis barker's remix of low is such great stuff. dang i really have nothing to say. clubbing life coming to a halt yet again though. 2 nights in a row sent me straight to the doctor and causing me to miss my very 1st lab lesson. what a way to start the new semester.

just finished playing WoW in weili's room while slacking away our 5 hour break in between lessons. the horrors of NTU scheduling. at the moment still waiting for the email from the archery club informing us on when our next archery training/session will be. recreational team for now cause of the huge commitment of hours we'll have to put in for the shot at school team.

Recreational Team - 1 day fortnightly
School Team - 1 day weekly + saturday 9-5

see the difference in commitment time. lol. where m i to find that much time for the school team though i must say archery is kinda fun.

gotta prepare to head for my principles of economics lecture now. cya peeps. take care

2008-08-14T21:35:00.002+08:00

heya guyz. its been some time since my last entry and since then school has properly started. witht he 2nd week of school coming to a close tomorrow, ive yet to attend a single tutorial simply cos all my tutorials are stuffed into friday. not that there r many tutorials with life science being an online tutorial module. thank goodness its an online module at that. i got my sis to do my online assignment for me and got full marks. i would have just failed if i did it myself considering the notes were of no help at all. good thing my sis is lending me her JC bio textbook which is so much more detaild than the notes provided by NTU.

2ndly, this entry is done on my new laptop. juist got it today from the NTU IT fair. its like a miniature version of COMEX. lol. 4 brands were featured in the fair, namely... Apple, Toshiba, Fujitsu and NEC. originally i had wanted to get an apple cos it just looks so nice. but after some consultation, apparently mechanical engineering requires some programming and it isnt that convenient on an apple. after some thought, i had set my eyes on the Toshiba M800 (which im using right now to type this post). at the fair though, after picking up the toshiba brochure, this NEC promoter comes right up to me and whispers, "eh... toshiba for washing machine 1 u know, u sure u want buy their laptop. come... try this *shoves NEC brochure into my hand*". what a cute strategy to get some1 to buy their laptop. apparently they had the poorest business out of the 4 brands in the IT fair.

been hanging out alot with shaun (wong) and weili recently. lol. NTU buddies man. a sad thing i dont share any lectures with them. right now, my lectures have always been boring lectures sitting alone. with no tutorials done yet, ive no idea who r my tutorial mates that i should be hnaging out with. sure, there r the fe guyz in the LT that i know from times back, but every1 has their own group of friends. so for now, i shall remain the lonely guy in the lectures looking forward to the breaks where i can meet up with my CJC buddies.

clubbing is gonna get a kick start back into my life real soon. going zouk/MOS tomorrow for fun and then zouk again on saturday for NBS pageant to support clement. gogo clement, get MR NBS for me so all the NBS girls will hang around u and then u can intro some to me. lol. im kidding about the intro part.
alright back to getting stuff in my laptop sorted out. gotta get my mp3 into this laptop so i can listen to them and all. also gotta install WoW =D lectures are gonna be such a blast

take care guyz. i got my fiona xie pic but m too lazy 2 upload it. maybe another time. she's hot FYI

i miss you more than u can imagine

2008-08-03T11:39:00.002+08:00

woot. SINGFEST! don't feel too bad about the $303 (SISTIC $3) spent now. its awesome going by the first day. decided to go at about 5.30 to catch New Found Glory, Melee, Lost Prophets (recommended by so many =D), Simple Plan and TRAVIS!

so yea, the crowd up till melee was still pretty toned down but when lost prophets started, things got crazy =D follow that up with over energetic kids jumping to simple plan means that any1 with soft legs would have died there. lol. Travis being the last event for the night, decided to play way over the allocated 1 hour per band. but considering it took them like 30 minutes to even get prepared, i guess the extra time playing was way worth it.

photos and videos will have to wait cause i cant seem to find my thumbdrive and my pics are in my sis's com. a few more hours till i gotta head down to 2nd day of SINGFEST! OneRepublic, Panic! At The Disco, Jason Mraz! oh and Pussycat Dolls and Alicia Keys ''-_-. haha!

oh and a picture with Fiona Xie summed up my uber great day @ SINGFEST. lol. wonder if i'd bump into another celebrity and get another picture to sum up the 2nd Day!!!

2008-07-07T08:34:00.002+08:00

its been almost a month since my last entry. and since then, life has been a story of ups and downs. being a person with STM, i cant actually remember much of this story. HAHA

so yes, more recent happenings. family tension. friendship tension. tensions everywhere.

gotta attend my NYAA interview later. after delaying it for like 2 years, ive finally decided to give it a shot. doesnt matter even if they declare fail to receive award. ive got the CCA points! haha.

recently caught Wanted with ton. pretty interesting show with a horrible ending. yea interesting twist but the ending was just lame. like as though they ran out of script and had to think of it on the go or something. besides catching wanted, it was just fun and more fun meeting up after so long.

taking part in a mini street soccer comp in the West on the 19th so i'd better go shape up fast. havent done any jogging/running or played any form of ball recently. gonna be easily tired out if i dont get some practise in quick. heh.

guess thats abt it. shall blog again soon. =D

2008-06-11T00:09:00.005+08:00

well yea, its holiday week @ long last. the most fun week of NTU special sem. i'm sure everyone but the nerds agree with me. lol. they'd be like "oh no, theres no lessons. what m i to do?!"

ok, so i had my CA1 last week thursday. wad a lousy day to have a test. got dragged down to Zouk on wednesday night by weili to join him, mel and jo. its a good thing the paper ended up to be an easy paper man. or i'll so regret my decision to go down even though i hadnt studied finish. lol.

yea pictures. pictures to show why i should never drink alcohol. the speed at which my face turns red is record fast. lol. and i've got this totally fanciful new belt! (note : thats the buckle)

2008-06-01T15:51:00.002+08:00

well yea. yesterday was andita's wedding. ma first time attending a church wedding. all the way out west. man, hate traveling there. especially on weekends. i travel there on weekdays for school and now i spend my weekends there? traumatising. lol.

so yea, after the wedding went down to somerset with rakesh. went looking for a suit since he needed 1. found nothing. after which went back to meet janice for dinner =D

photo! ok shall end here. lol. cya

2008-05-30T23:58:00.002+08:00

as the days tick down to the impending test. im surprised im totally not worried about it. i so gotta put my mind down and get those formula into my brain. would be bad to have a mind full of nonsense and no formula for the test.

focusing on other things, i sense a turn in events soon. can i make it. hopefully. firstly, ive gotta let things run for awhile. preferably a week. i'll be behind u. have faith in yourself. u know u can do it. *cheers*. u do well for urs, and i do well for my test. we'll both be happy then. after which, i'm sure the skies will clear and the situation will be that much less confusing.

thanks for the support during this period "sis". ha. it's been helpful. i've done what i should and ive got more things to do. it'll all finish soon.

*** ive just bought a new river island top. HA! there were so many other nice designs. gonna go back soon =D want a shopping buddy? tag me!

2008-05-27T22:18:00.002+08:00

m here in the midst of slogging through my tutorials. damned are they getting tougher and tougher. all that talk about everything being easy. well that was chapter 1. how tough could it really be. as the CA approaches (next thurs 5 MCQ qns), the reality that not everything is in my head yet strikes me really hard. as i plod through the tutorials, i spend 90% of the time sourcing through my notes for a bare hint on how to answer the questions.

now that school has been covered. other stuff cloud my mind. memories are whats holding me together. how i wish the past would return. hoping for the pretty face that now shuns me to return. reminiscing the past does make the present seem miserable sadly. oh well, the timely presence of friends and WoW is helping me crawl through this stage. friends, people that are there when you really need them. learning to trust others as time goes too. been more open with stuff i'd normally seal into the depths of my mind such that no1 would ever find out.

since im into the topic of WoW. ive finally gotten my second lv 70 character. LOL. gaming is fun and school is helping me get less addicted to WoW. well, it is a really fun game =D but i gotta get back my outside life. the life which consists of meeting friends, playing pool, bowling and the likes. considering my TP is fast approaching yet again, i'd have to free up time to meet derrick's dad yet again. this time, im gonna pass. i hope LOL =D

alright, gotta get back to the mountain of notes and tutorials that i left on the table. gotta finish up the tutorials and start drinking "potions" of burnt lecture notes mixed with water. sounds vaguely similar to the online temple thing featured in a local production doesn't it. i heard the "potion" really does work. =D take care guyz. we'll meet soon!

2008-05-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

this is tiring. i am drained.
who can i trust?

2008-05-16T01:10:00.002+08:00

and finally the elusive photos are here!!

2008-05-12T15:25:00.002+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Mario Winans feat. P Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know

woot. firstly. MAN UTD ARE EPL CHAMPIONS!

ok that said, school sucks. lol. contrast eh. so yes, NTU has to be retarded. theres holiday nxt monday and so the lecturer wants a replacement lecture. and people r suggesting friday 430PM? holy crap, what happened to friday is a weekend? people here are so into their studies and everything, its crazy. me and shaun hafta be the only people dozing off and all that. lol. hopefully, there r more normal people when the actual school year starts. but it is after all NTU. after all ive heard, my hopes aint exactly very high. lol.

past week has seen me start drinking alcohol again. darn thats bad. wednesday night was supposed to be spent at zouk. but after a series of unfortunate events (*cough* @ sherry), we ended up visiting butter factory and ended at Dbl O. well, they left @ 1. me and shaun stayed till late with bak kut teh and talk cock session till morning. friday was then spent celebrating sherry's birthday at Margarita's. quite a cool place. thanks sherry! lol. i know it cost u a bomb.

so yea, im up for more clubbing over the next few weeks before the actual school year starts. or rather till the exam in this special term period. thats when i'll hafta really sit down and get my head in the notes or i'll regret it in the long run. exams r always impt. bah. boring shit.

apologies to people who have had appointments cancelled and all. clashes in schedule happens rather often. lol. previous time for dota has been replaced. i can dota on saturday nights tho. thats prolly a good time. clubbing is now shifted to either wednesday or friday. so ya.

alright gotta get prepared to meet derrick. cya guyz and take care =D tag if u do drop by

2008-05-04T22:32:00.002+08:00

ive made mistakes havent i.
im not feeling right at all. this has to change.
hopefully with the school term starting, things will change. things had better change. i don't wanna affect people. im myself.

2008-05-01T23:24:00.003+08:00

Either its the impending school year thats gettin to me or im really getting cranky and everything. so yea, sorry if i stepped on anyone's toes recently. tmr gotta get down to get my EZ link card for uni settled. bah... y cant they do it at every MRT station. nearest 1 i can go to is like Hougang Interchange. zzz.

read back on my 1st eva post on this post with the funky address. lol. man, what a rant that was. practically cursed every1 from my JC class. lolx. looks like i had some issues with em man. forgotten most of em now but yea, theres still this gap between us. hopefully the birthday party wont be that bad. considering the person i talk to the most wont even be going. the rest of the grp would be kinda boring. gotta find an excuse to bail out ASAP. but yea, i guess thats the purpose of this blog. to rant at people around me. right now, i really wanna write about something but i cant do it. because this blog just aint as hidden as before. used to be a blog only certain people could access. now... its kinda open. involves secrets that have resurfaced. some things are just meant to fade into oblivion and not to be brought back out to the public ears. but some1 had brought out some secret of mine. tho the incident of mentioning it was some time back. i controlled myself and sought to forget everything. just like how ive always forced myself to forget all that have done things against me. forgot i did, after hanging out with derrick. bowling away tons of money at the same time. forgot i thought i did, but it was always in my mind.

just like every other thing that ive pushed to the back of my head, these things always resurface for me to think deeply about in the weirdest place possible. the shower. lol. but yes, thats where i spend all my time thinking about these issues and whether i should really keep em within me and not push it out for some discussions. for now, i'll still keep everything in me. ive just no idea how long i can keep this up. its almost like im wearing a mask and keeping everything bad beneath the mask. my exterior is of 1 that doesnt care about anything and just wants to pass the days. but who is to say that im not feeling anything inside. some stuff just dont need to be said out loud to know that it has an effect on me. doing things behind my back doesnt help too. ive got FRIENDS that will inform me about these incidents.

as for that issue of secrets being revealed. i'll still keep it quiet. if more secrets of mine appear again, i'll definitely make my displeasure known. and then, we'll all have a nice show to watch. i just wanted to get on to do this blog post. it doesnt make me feel any better but at least i know ive tried to put it out in words.

school's beginning but im pretty damn sure i can stil come online just as much. so come find me online or text me if u wanna meet me to do anything from a movie to pool. anything really. anything except retarded things that irritate me. cyaz around guyz and take care =D

2008-04-29T19:34:00.002+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Jesse McCartney - Just So You Know

this song means stuff man. m thinking of swapping skins later since WoW is having its regular maintenance so yea, you might c a new skin the next time u drop by. as for now, shit bored. nothing to do but await the start of boring school. hope it aint bad man. preparations for school... never thought there was such a thing. so i guess, i can be counted as TOTALLY not prepared. but bah, who cares. i'll go there and figure things out as they go. lol. theres 1 preparation i know i gotta do tho. and thats SHOPPING. i need my new stuff.

new shirts. new pants. new bag. new shoes? my shades.

hmm seems little. fills a line. lol. total cost. no idea.

alright signing off now. back to the land of stoners. just sitting there and watching time tick by. life's fantastic when you've got too much time to burn. and i need new mp3. who has sources please contact me.

2008-04-25T00:46:00.002+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : NONE

the horrors. NTU life is about to start. the nearer it draws, the more i feel that applying for special term was a terrible mistake. i'm so not prepared for the life of boring studies and travelling to extreme ends of singapore. y cant NTU be as well placed as SMU. then if im bored of lectures, i can just go play some pool or LAN. well, there is such things near NTU. but its Jurong Point. who in their right state of mind will hang out there? maybe the lians and bengs that stay around there. and the sad sad people from SISPEC who are hanging out there due to nights out. oh, my old life. the life of a army personnel. its all over. and now the life of a student is about to restart.

other than the horrors of school restarting. life has been oh-so-relaxing. just bumming around online and all. enjoyable. couple that with LAN outings with the shooters, catching the occasional movie and playing the occasional game of pool with mathew. priceless. lol. talking of movies, Street Kings is quite a good show. u might just wanna catch it before it gets off cinemas. heard terrible stuff about Forbidden Kingdom. thank goodness i decided not to go with the class to catch it. Mathew was messaging me about the lameness of it. interesting choice of shows. if any1 wants to play pool or catch a movie, do find me! ive gotta enjoy the remaining days of freedom. ahhh! i so do not want 2 get to NTU so soon. dammit. what a mistake this is all shaping up to be.

other than that. cya guyz if we've got an appointment soon. soccer on saturday. and shooters tmr. for other appointments, do contact me!!

2008-04-09T16:09:00.002+08:00

Got bored. so i'm gonna do this that i found on derrick's blog.

1. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced?
- nope

2. Does a kiss make you feel better?
- most likely it would? definitely depends on who though =D

3. Have you ever passed out on the bathroom floor?
- Nope

4. Do you start the water before you get in the shower or when you get in?
- when i get in

5. What did you do today?
- RAID

6. Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
- possibly...

7. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time?
- 3?! now thats a party. nope actually

8. Have you ever thought about your death?
- i dont think about such stuff

10. Would you rather be in a permanent relationship or play the field?
- play the field! nah, im definitely a permanent r/ship guy. =D

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?
- soccer! well air rifle is a nice sport, just boring to watch

12. What color is your shower curtain?
- ive actually no idea

13. Have you ever had stitches?
- hell yea. ive even got some under my finger nail

14. How long ago did you hug someone?
- hmm. its been quite some time possibly

19. What are you doing tomorrow?
- more raiding.

21. Have you ever given money to a homeless person?
- Yes.

22. Have you ever run over an animal?
- i dont think so. but if i ever did, sorry to all u animal lovers out there

23. Whats your favorite cereal?
- honey stars

24. Have you ever had an Oreo with peanut butter?
- yes i believe

25. What are you doing this moment?
- stoning in WoW. and doing this 2 kill more time.

26. Would you kiss someone of the same sex for 100 bucks?
- ive already done that! but for 100 bucks?! sure i'd do it again

27. Where’s your favorite place to be?
- anywhere would be fine.

28. What’s your favorite song?
- i dont believe in the word favorite. i prefer favoriteS

29. Are you more of a coffee or alcohol drinker?
- alcohol beats coffee duh. but i'd rather have water, if u'd believe me

30. Have you ever thrown shoes on a telephone wire?
- and for what would i do that

31. Have you ever been skinny dipping?
- Nope

32. Have you ever climbed up a watertower?
- nope.

33. Do you dream in black and white?
- ive no idea if theres colour in my life, less to say my dreams

35. Do you snore?
- hopefully.... no

36. Have you ever thought about being a model?
- wow a model. no.

38. Funniest thing you heard all day?
- i dont hear funny stuff. i kinda filter em out

39. Have you ever gotten a mosquito bite on your face?
- should be.

40. What are you afraid of?
- i fear myself.

41. What does the 10th text message in your inbox say?
- holy shit. its the Mas Selamat message from the police.

42. What does the 10th message in your outbox say?
- "who else going"

43. Do you like someone?
- hmm.. possibly

44. Do they know you like them?
- i really wonder.

____________________________________________

1. Are you slowly drifting away from someone close?
- i sure am. and im not doing anything to stop it cos im just too lazy

2. When was the last time you felt unbearably guilty?
- very recently? im always guilty of something even tho i dont know what i did.

3. How is life going for you right now?
- its really fine. so dont come make it bad for me.

4. When was the last time you held someones hand?
- around the same time i last hugged a person. go figure.

5. Who can you tell everything to?
- theres no such person u can tell EVERYTHING to. theres always secrets.

6. Last words you spoke?
- i dont speak. i let my keyboard and my fingers do the talking.

7. Have you ever hugged anyone who's name started with a M?
- start with M. sure have.

8. how old are you?
- Turning 21. (December 27th... just in case u guyz 4get)

9. What is the next concert you're going to?
- havent been to 1. dont think it'll be soon

10. Can you play guitar hero?
- nope.

11. Do you like someone?
- wasnt this question raised once?

12. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?
- cold weather.

13. Is any part of your body sore?
- my body doesnt feel sore from soccer. so y shd i feel sore frm the computer

14. Who is your last text from?
- samantha

15. What is the last movie you watched in theaters?
- hmm... was it step up 2?

16. What do you currently hear right now?
- Dont Stop The Music by Rihanna and my keyboard's annoying tapping sound

17. Who did you last share a bed with?
- hmm...

18. Who was your last phone call?
- home. informing em ive officially found my lacoste shoes

19. Do fish have feelings?
- derrick, how do u know they feel pain. u asked the fish?

20. Do you know anyone this old?
- this old meaning 20? or my age? well its both the same. and yea i know.

21. What do you currently smell like?
- i really wonder.

22. How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids?
- ive never thought abt anything past a mth. so no, ive no idea.

23. What time does school start?
- time? no idea. starts somewhere in May i heard.

24. Missing someone right now?
- definitely. but they probably aint missing me. i mean NOTHING

25. What's the strangest fact about you?
- i actually have feelings! ZOMG!

26. Where is your number one person on your friends list?
- wtf is my friends list?

27. Do you feel like dancing?
- i dont dance. i cant dance. but dance looks nice.

28. How much money do you have on you?
- im broke. and nope, im not typing the number for fear of getting robbed. (add this fear to answer on top)

29. Do you sleep naked?
- nope

30. Is there someone on your mind that shouldn't be?
- definitely. theres always some1 there that shouldnt be.

31. Do you burn easily in the sun?
- i think so. i just dont go boom and get incinerated.

32. Do you speak another language other than English?
- NOPE. well, i do know abit of chinese.

33. What made you happy today?
- nothing has happened. so nothing has made me happy/sad

34. Who were the last people you ate lunch with?
- lunch. i ate with myself the past few days.
__________________________________________
How many months are there until your birthday?
* 8?

Have you gotten gum stuck in your hair?
* NOPE. i use wax not gum to style my hair.

When was the last time you got straight A’s?
* i agree with derrick. its definitely PSLE. i got straight Fs in JC. does that count?

Where is your sister right now?
* somewhere in school i believe

Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal?
* i dont know the size. but many people have praised me about it =D

Are you currently listening to a song?
* the radio is on. go figure.

Do you own any kind of yellow clothing?
* yellow you say. yes, i do

How many piercings do you have?
* ive 1 ear hole. that has been done 3 times. amazing.

What time is it?
* 1630

What color are your eyes?
* white... with black?

How long does it take you to shower?
* this depends.

Do you wear your seatbelt in the car?
* i dont belt up @ all. unless im in da front

What jewelry do you wear all the time?
* my ear stud

Do you believe in aliens?
* if they look like ET, i hope they dont exist.

Any siblings?
* 1 brother. 1 sister. both younger

What are you doing tomorrow?
* hmm more raiding?

Tell me a story about a scare you have.
* i dont tell stories. if u want 1, go get a nursery rhyme book or smth

What color are your socks?
* y would i b wearing socks while doing this

How long is your hair?
* m i supposed to get a ruler?

What school do you go to?
* havent gone to sch in 2 years. but yea. NTU Mech Eng in May

Can others make you cry easily?
* i dislike guyz that cry. short and sweet.

Whose house did you last go to?
* i seriously... cant remember.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
* im not wearing a shirt now thanks to the darned weather

Do you know what you are going to wear tomorrow?
* depends on whether im leaving my house.

What are your favorite color(s)?
* GREEN. white. black. red.

What did you do yesterday?
* stayed home. dinner out. hanged out with derrick.

Do you know anyone who lives in another state?
* yes. sure do.

Are you easily confused?
* nope

How has the past week been?
* fun. and more fun.

Do you like thunderstorms?
* if they're gonna continue slowing my internet down. then no, i hate it.

Do you watch Hannah Montana?
* nope

What’s the weather like right now?
* hot

Do you trust others easily?
* nope. in fact, i trust nobody.

The Return...

2008-03-29T16:34:00.004+08:00

back from my cruise and feeling refreshed after getting some decent hours of sleep. a night of mild drinking when im tired, still kills me easily. my alcohol tolerance has to be at an all time low. lolx.

from the beginning, yea i was on a 3D2N cruise (which was in fact just 1.5 days worth). quite worth the money we paid. lolx. other than the presence of tons of indians. and i dont mean singaporean indians, i mean India indians... the kind that reside in rural villages too. ive no idea who paid for em to get onto the cruise but shit, there were tons of em on board. from the minute we boarded the cruise, their presence could be felt. like seriously. every corner i turned, there was at least 1 of them. traumatising i must say. lol. so yea, its like theyve never been to a buffet or never seen a lift. within 1 hour after boarding, all they had in their head was "wheres buffet? where 13? lift go 13?". i was in the lift, wanting to go explore the cruise and so decided to start on the highest floor which the lift could reach (12th floor)... before i could leave the cruise, these bunch of indians ran in and stopped halfway, blocking the door and speaking in their incoherent language. all i could understand was "free... buffet... food... 13... lift"... dudes the lift dont even reach 13 floor. and i know ure hungry but theres no need to rush. thats just 1 of the many problems the indians gave the rest of the cruise but i shall not tap into em. might get caught for racism or something. well the ang mohs did say "FUCK THE INDIANS" at KL. lolx

now for more details abt the cruise. Super Star Virgo. Disembarkation points at Malacca and KL.
didnt get off at Malacca but did get off at KL. @ port klang we had to take a 1 hr bus ride before arriving at KL where we were given 4+ hours to do shopping and grab dinner. not really much time and got conned by the guide.

Guide : There's this really good place. lotsa hawker food. at Pavillion. go down, turn right.

when we reached... we saw... Food Republic... nice 1 man...

yep.. now that cruise is over... ive gotta handle my uni admission stuff. gonna get in real soon. this sucks. i hate the thought of going back to school...

2008-03-11T22:06:00.002+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Simple Plan - When I'm Gone

woah, i think theres a thick layer of dust resting below this entry. suddenly felt like blogging, mainly cause WoW is having its maintainance and theres no1 to dota with.

recently, ive been thinking weirdly. lolx. wonder why. everything goes through me and turns out pessimistic. its cool to a certain extent.

anyway, went to see a performance at Eunos CC by my friend and his band. kinda cool. nice songs they performed. All Mixed Up by 311 is good stuff. come find me on msn if u want the mp3 file for the original.

other than that, ive booked my cruise with some army buddies for Mar 26-28th. gonna be real fun with them around. lolx. after ORD-ing for close to a mth, hanging out with them at the performance really felt great. with the supper and all. lolx, brought back the cheer i felt in the guardroom. the only place in camp which was cheerful and all. not just the cruise, theres gonna b a chalet this saturday. lolx. how i miss the fun and laughter the RPs had in camp. now that ive ORD-ed the only chances of me meeting em has to be all these and soccer. i had better cherish em.

as for some other people, ive been thinking deeply. maybe im taking the wrong approach. probably being nice is just wrong. when i need you guyz, u all are not there. when u guyz need me, im supposed to be there like as though i live a metre away. well then, cut the emo trash here. i aint gonna turn emo. its just wrong. *cough* LOL derrick gets what i mean. cya soon bro. we gotta hang out @ the arcade without losing your phone again.

ive got some good songs to recommend:
Jonas Brothers - SOS
Taking Back Sunday - This Photograph Is Proof (I Know You Know)
Incubus - Wish You Were Here

2008-01-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

moodless, disappointed, disgusted and thankful at the same time. that probably sums up my feelings within me at this very moment.

it's been what? close to 3 mths since ive last blogged. havent had anything 2 write. but right at this moment, i need something or some1 to rant to. and this blog came to mind. lolx.

as of 2dae. ive got 1 mth 2 days till i fucking ORD. right about time i must say. its a general opinion amongst peers in camp, that the new rules and regulations and what nots being implemented in the camp is severely taxing us, NSFs in our stress levels. as of this morning, ive been slapped with a punishment for an offence that i must admit was quite severe. but whats appalling was the lack of support from a superior that once promised to fight for his men. early in the morning, i knew the fact that i was definitely gonna get slapped with a punishment due to the mistake commited as a result of complacency. the punishment : a reduction of off by 5 days and 3 extra duties. this is also where the thankful part comes in. if not for a few RPs speaking up for me, im pretty sure the punishment would be much more severe than this. it is in this situations that u are thankful that u haf frens around u. wad did the superior do? nothing. im touched by the way u help ur men. while i stress myself to help you when im on guard duty, when the shit hits the fan, u are nowhere 2 b found. mark my words, i aint gonna help u anymore. go find ur gay partner a.k.a. my fellow spec to help you. u 2 useless fuckers can go screw up everything u do.

3 extra duties. doesnt sound like much. but considering that extras have to be cleared over weekends. and January has ONLY 4 weekends. my duty forecast before the added extras stated that i have 1 weekend duty. doesnt take a rocket scientist to count that... ive no more weekends this month. sorry to those i promised i'd club with and play soccer with. i juz cant make it anymore. hopefully, there r some that will share the load with me.

the new year has brought about many things that helps me realise who are my true buddies be it in SAF or outside SAF. though the year is still young, there has already been many things happening. i juz hope for Feb 6th to come nearer so that i can leave this camp where many brotherhoods have been forged and many enemies have been made.

2007-09-26T21:39:00.000+08:00

Create your own Friend Test here

2007-09-24T21:51:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Abingdon Boys School - INNOCENT SORROW

this is such a cool song. tho its jap and i dun understand a single shit from its lyrics, but it sure sounds good. comes from the anime D.Grey-Man. quite a decent anime. not the normal cute-sy anime. kinda dark in fact. thats wad makes it good. lolx. with a lead that looks as evil as the enemies at times, makes things so much more enjoyable to watch

at the moment, planning the freaking duty forecast for my RPs for next mth. man, this period of the mth always sucks. with all the close bonds we share with our men, its really hard 2 give some1 the benefit over another as u fear for the repercussions when the forecast is revealed to the men. however, at the very moment theres more shit 2 wry abt then this damned duty forecast as ive gotta handle the incamp stress that has been building up and the lack of sleep ive been experiencing in camp recently. just today i got caught sleeping on desk duty. lolx. how funny.

last weekends soccer was so screwed man. rained cats and dogs or like chewyi put it, rained cats, pussies and dogs. soccer was scrapped but not after i was halfway to the place and caught in the middle of a bad ass storm. had to cab back in the end if not i would haf spent the rest of the day caught out in the rain and stranded at the bus stop along an expressway. quick thinking allowed me to return home at the cost of a $2.80 cab fare. how enjoyable. bet the taxi driver had a laugh of his life.

with my recent expenditures on cab fares, ive gotta get my license even more. now with this built up motivation i can feel myself driving better and actually paying attention to what my instructor is telling me instead of just trying to hit a new high speed every lesson. lolx. just today's lesson saw me drive much better. well at least thats what i thought. at least i dint try hitting 80 again. lolx. i'll leave that to after i pass ma driving and get ma darn car.

alright, looks like its back to the other computer for me to resume duty forecast planning and cracking my head =) take care and cya guyz arnd!

2007-09-19T18:35:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : BACK-ON - Chain

woot. good song playing from the anime series Air Gear. any1 want it find me on MSN. been 2 weeks since ive last blogged if i rmb correctly. anyhow, camp has been 1 helluva tiring madhouse with all the work coming in from every corner of the camp. it seems s tho every1 in the camp wants a piece of us nowadays.

1stly, gonna b heading for my 15th driving lesson in abt an hours time. that makes it $585 spent on the practical lessons already. woot. TP is in november and im finally beginning to feel the pressure and stress of it all pressing in on me along with the mounting amount from my imminent takeover as platoon sergeant in camp. lolx. kinda paranoid abt the TP now. keep thinking tt ima fail on ma first try. quite a reckless driver i haf been at my pract lessons.

2ndly, welcome back tonia!

3rdly, IPPT has been such a pain in my ass but im still taking it as like the PE lessons in JC. a weekly affair. hahaz. almost every1 in camp now knows me as the person constantly taking IPPT in a bid to attain a gold long lost from SISPEC. but the bonus $200 from gettin the gold is such a lure i cant take my eyes off gettin it. b it 4 the pride or the money, the weekly IPPT test can be taken as a form to train myself up! just this morning, i went for yet another IPPT but this time i got a lousier timing than all my previous timings. but i blame it on the fact that there werent any competent runners! me coming in 1st had a 1minute lead over the 2nd guy. therefore, there wasnt any1 for me to follow nor was there some1 behind me to push me forward. coming in at 10.15 meant tt im off my mark by a full half minute. thats kinda hard to squash, but my next test is on the 27th and thus ive gotta train up for it. the static stations r so easy...

well, gonna get off now to go prepare for my lesson. cya guyz!

2007-09-02T01:22:00.000+08:00

Recommended from Charm!

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		9
Quality Time:		8
Acts of Service:		6
Physical Touch:		5
Receiving Gifts:		2

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

2007-08-28T21:50:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Boys Like Girls - The Great Escape

well. seriously ages since ive blogged. kinda gotten over tt craze of Megan Fox. lolx. but it sure was fun. right now, been moody quite a bit due to stuff in camp and all. camp is really such a crappy place with all the new-bird-old-bird shit and all. luckily for me, theres been weekly sports events planned and its been good to be in the sun once in awhile. soccer for 2 weeks in a row has been good. with the recent 1 under the sun the whole time, the tan felt good. hope this carries on for the weeks to come. this weekend, saturday badminton and sunday soccer. gonna be good for the health. after missing out on the gold IPPT yet again, this thursday will be my last chance at glory and earn myself that extra $100 that ive been missing out on. this is it. this is war!

in camp, at present there r 4 specs. soon to be, there will juz remain 2. me being 1 of em. however now even when there r 4 of us, most of the work gets pushed away by the oldest bird of us. while they slack, ive got work to do now. even fighting for off is such a pain in the ass, as i'd always be the nice guy and give way to the old birds to get their offs first. every friday and monday gets snapped up so fast, im left with thursday offs. what ever happened to the long weekends man. i spend all my weekends split up. now, even the newest bird wants 2 fight with me for off.

Me : sianz, friday off kena taken liao. maybe i shd take monday
XB: eh monday i take liao.

ok wow. so now mondays i cant take too. excellent. and i keep getting friday duties. sure, its better than saturday or sunday duties but man its counted as a weekday and thus shd b compared to monday to thursday duties. i'd gladly swap my fridays away for any of the other weekdays! the oldest bird even claims to have music lessons and thus the boss doesnt plan him any friday duties as his lessons happen to be on fridays. wow, he doesnt even want to tell us what kinda music lessons they are!

today, after my duty rest, i return to the guardroom to realise that they had planned me desk from 2pm to 5pm straight. sure, i noe ive gotta do my share and so i willingly did the 3 hr straight of desk duties. but wth, u dun leave ur desk to have lunch when ur name is on the schedule man. causing me to do more than my 3hr duty. i would haf complained but nvm, ure gonna ORD and i shall just suck on my thumb and let everything pass. the faster u leave, the nearer my date arrives.

well, all these could be because im kinda prejudiced to u. but its just ur luck. i hate people tt lick boots and carry balls. just my luck that when i openly opposed it, the person whose boots u were licking heard me. just too bad. and it aint just me that tinks so. sucking up to a superior is so lame. hope u go down this sunday for soccer. i'll give u something to think about. =)

2007-07-19T22:05:00.000+08:00

*DROOL*

2007-06-30T00:12:00.000+08:00

Song Playing : Fall Out Boy - Thks Fr Th Mmrs

well. its been close to a mth since my blog post if i aint wrong. over the past mth. quite a few stuff have happened other than my regimental duties and camp work. external relationships haf been at an all time low with many problems occuring everywhere and nth good actually happening.

at this present moment, ive got no exact word to describe my r/ship with mel. unsure whether is it over, or is this still the cool down period or is it that she's waiting for me to do something. its been at this standoff point for say... a mth now... or close to that... during this period, ive met her once... outside DXO. was with shaun, ton, charm and derrick at the moment... when we (me and mel) walked off in the direction of DXO, i tot maybe we cld haf a chat to discuss wad has been happening around us. but juz after 2 or 3 qns, u decided to return to ur frenz... so in the end, nth was solved nor were we closer to getting things settled amongst us. maybe im juz bad in the relationship sector or something. things nv do work out for me in this sector.

and now... shaun drops by this near -dying blog and leaves a tag post without any explanation as to why he said that and wad did the message mean. if any1 has any damned idea wad the msg means, pls tell me... when i asked him on msn, he seemed kinda agitated and didnt want to explain himself. when i asked again thru sms and he didnt gimme an answer, i scolded him. and since then, its been silence between us... didnt even reply when i asked if he wanted to club tmr... zzz

in camp, kena arrow for all kinds of shit. damn sian

and derrick, y the fark r u so excited abt clubbing. lolx. k lets go tmr along with daniel... cant get any1 else i tink... if any1 tt sees this wants 2 go, pls drop me a sms... gladly welcome more ppl 2 hang out with...

2007-06-04T23:33:00.000+08:00

Song Playing : 30 Seconds To Mars - The Kill

well. i dont noe wad is happening around me anymore. finally fell sick again after so long. did a fucked up duty wif a fucking fever. suddenly, ure treating me like this.

falling sick
yes, ive finally fallen sick again ever since BMT's fever. this tym ive struck fever again. but for a short period of 4 days. m feelin much btr now. thx 4 the concern hueva asked me abt it during tt period. it was nice. even wif fever, i managed 2 lug my body over to camp where i managed to do basic tasks. at the 3rd day, i even had a duty and i felt obliged to do it instead of calling upon the reserve like what the typical IDS would haf done on any other day. those bunch of slackers only sit around, sleep and watch VCDs and they still want to activate each other to come down early weekend mornings. wad a great sense of courtesy and bonding the share amongst each other. so well, the duty was going along well till juz b4 staff parade and things totally imploded after that. problems after problems came in from every corner. from the men to the BOS, every1 juz wanted a share of me. lolx. so exciting. but in the end, the night passed by untouched and the guard2 was kind enuf to let me get more sleep at the expense of his own sleep due to my fever. see, fever is kinda helpful at times.

coupled with all these in-camp problems that dont seem to want to stop, ive got personal problems as well. maybe im just a fucking problem magnet and i will never stop all these problems from consistently finding their way to me no matter how much i hide. i might as well stand out wif a neon sign saying "HIT ME". maybe they will hit me less hard. the personal problems i shall not mention here. if u wanna noe, u might wanna PM me on MSN and c if im free. if im free and in da mood i might tell u. m damn bz recently man.. all the camp stuff. + ive got IPPT on wednesday and ive juz recovered from my illness meaning my physical fitness would haf dropped. wonder if i can maintain my gold 2.4 timing when i return.

and now no more anime piracy. YAY TO MUSIC JUNCTION AND THE LIKES! hahaz. music junction is so gonna rejoice as more and more people buy their legal VCDs of animes like Bleach and Naruto. wonder what will happen if u download the anime series that are not legalised yet. is legalised even the term. i remember hearing the term b4 when Bleach was _______ but now i cant remember what that term was. maybe it is legalised.

well im blabbering more and more nonsense if any1 notices. 30 seconds to mars is kinda nice to listen to but as my loyal reader has pointed out, theres screaming in it so it might not lend itself to some of ur ears. dun like, dun complain to me. lolx. juz remove it from yer playlists. isnt tt ez. complaining wun help shit. ive learnt tt the hard way.

right now, im lost for words and m unsure of what to do. what shd i do.

2007-05-11T01:45:00.000+08:00

You are the Hanged Man

Self-sacrifice, Sacrifice, Devotion, Bound.

With the Hanged man there is often a sense of fatalism, waiting for something to happen. Or a fear of
loss from a situation, rather than gain.

The Hanged Man is perhaps the most fascinating card in the deck. It reflects the story of Odin who offered himself as a sacrifice in order to gain knowledge. Hanging from the world tree, wounded by a spear, given no bread or mead, he hung for nine days. On the last day, he saw on the ground runes that had fallen from the tree, understood their meaning, and, coming down, scooped them up for his own. All knowledge is to be found in these runes.

The Hanged Man, in similar fashion, is a card about suspension, not life or death. It signifies selflessness, sacrifice and prophecy. You make yourself vulnerable and in doing so, gain illumination. You see the world differently, with almost mystical insights.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

well, all the dragon cards look nice actually. the high priest 1 is nice. LOL

2007-04-28T16:57:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Linkin Park - What I've Done

well things havent been going good actually...

since last post, ive actually accomplished smth by returning to MoS

and in tt same week, did a double clubbing by also visiting DBL O for my 1st tym of my life... quite a weird experience. though it was free entry... i didnt really enjoy it... nt very nice company, not v nice drinks (in fact, quite f***ed up drinks, and also F***ED UP girls). lol.. in fact, weiyang even said that most of the gals there cldnt even be considered as girls. LOL. the visit to MoS was like... way better... with derrick there. LOL. + finally seeing Alvin Wu in so long... wonder if he is still as fucked up as when he was at CJC. tt would be terrible wouldnt it. LOL

finally completing my 5 duties for this mth tmr... after which i will haf a week without duty but then suffer frm another weekend burn when i haf duty nxt saturday. tts y i so want 2 find ppl 2 go out wif ytd and 2dae... but 2 no avail... zzz

ytd went for steamboat dinner with some of the RPs... it was enjoyable meeting clarence again after so long. after he got posted out of RP and revocated to become a clerk. he shd haf juz stayed. he brought so much laughter to the RPs and also to the outing yesterday. after the outing wanted 2 go meet Mel... to make full use of my weekend tym... didnt want to go home... but wad happens? she asks me 2 hang up...

i noe it was my fault... but... sometimes, i really dont haf the tym... and not say confirm can contact u 1? so often i call but dun get a reply. nt even a call back... and unreplied msgs.

bah, dun wanna talk abt it... i dunno wad 2 do la... later going dinner with shaun, tonia and derrick. u were invited but u dont want to go... so yea... dun say i never spend tym with u. i wanted to...

tmr duty will be damn suay. with a DO famous for turnouts and 2 RPs famous for gettin into accidents... lol... shd b quite an amusing duty with all the mistakes and all. gettin quite used to turnouts as long as they dun occur at the weird hours like my previous duty with a turnout at 1150pm... causes every1 2 b damn tired... what kinda weird idea was it that though turnouts will raise the alertness of the guards... too many in my opinion will cause the fatigue to increase and thus the alertness will take an alarming decrease. but of what the heck, this is life. get used to it.

grandma in hospital now... doesnt sound good. last tym i visited her at home... she was juz way tired... on the bed, and without energy to do much... i dun like the feeling...

seems like everything is going down... but wtf, i gotta make these all go up again. no point juz sitting down in my chair and sulking and thinking abt how fucked up life is. gotta go and make some effort to get out of this shithole. gotta start with stuff in camp 1st. too many mistakes haf been commited and i gotta go and get my basics right so that i can answer when asked.

final theory test coming up in May. gotta get myself to study for it unlike the basic thepory test which i totally forgot abt till the day itself. this tym i cfm needa pass then i can begin wif my practical lessons. i needa be able 2 drive by next year... latest b4 entry to university. before that, dun tink i really need the car so i can afford to take my tym.

2007-04-18T22:59:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Good Charlotte - The River
Mood : -im removing this-

its been quite a long time since ive blogged and a certain reader (out of the seriously diminishing number of readers) has been pressuring me into writing an entry before i get killed. ok kidding abt the getting killed part. since my last entry, april 10th has since passed. it went by quite well. with a nice dinner at waraku. woah, that place really is good. thx mel for introducing it to me. the squiddddd.

lol. and my ippt got moved to may 7th. or around there at least. cant remember the actual day itself. gotta get back my fitness. last weekend went down to MoMo under the instigation of eric. a real last minute request though. but i complied with the presence of the shooting club guyz and gal and mel. lolx. hoped it helped ur tic sales. opened 2 bottles of whiskey @150 each... gotta chase back my money frm dan and the guyz. my financial power is weakening as the days pass. cant wait for july where i earn 50 mre. any lil bit of extra money that we earn, is way important in the way we spend our daily lives. gotta go back to MoS. its been such a long tym.

and right this moment, im wasting my life away listening to my WMP and reading comics online (introduced to me by weiyang). and oh my, these comics are so damn lame. http://explosm.net/comics/336/
is 1 of em. go take a look.

need to gain some offs
to take to relieve stress
been doing more and more work
instead of juz slacking

2007-03-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Fall Out Boy - This Aint A Scene, Its An Arms Race
Mood : .tired.REALtired.

duty last night. so long havent had duty. next month's duty forecast is out and im lined up for 5 duties... this saturday is my next duty, then monday. man, duty, rest then duty again. how exciting. i had better enjoy my sunday. yesterday's duty was also the 1st duty as guard commander that ive experienced a turnout... woot. blackout turnout. luckily it was done well with prior warning from the BOS. lolx... we were all hyped up for it and waiting for the phone call. lolx. other than that, everything turned out kinda well for the duty other than the slight hiccup in the morning that saw me gettin fucked again. lolx. wad a life. everytime duty muz kena fuck. lolx.

april 10th. a date im looking forward to. for reasons. heh.

april 11th. IPPT. tym for me 2 peak and attain my gold again. i need it so badly. i need the monetary rewards it brings along wif it. hope the gym work recently will help me regain my pullup counts. all the recent L.I.V.E runs haf brought my running timing back to timing worthy of the gold. lolx.

is it tym
to let the world noe

2007-03-13T18:38:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Jimmy Eat World - If You Don't Don't
Mood : .uber.HAPPY.

well... the events haf all passed.
the mind cafe trip turned out rather well with me, weiyang, kelvin, yongchuen and fabian going. 1st few games were quite screwed up but we ended with the duck game which always seems 2 work. lolx. the last tym play wif shaun, ton all that also tt game caused so much fun. other than that, tt night was kinda pathetic as we went home damn early.

then came saturday, the DXO trip. well... the crowd there was mainly CJC with many recognisable faces in there. however, the male:female ratio was kinda gay. LOL. so yea, danced for awhile before retreating to the 2nd floor where we found nice seats and we left our butts stuck there till... well, the club close. lolx. had 2 jugs of vodka ribena to share amongst the 5 of us courtesy of ME. lolx. cost me 84 do0ds. drink drink damn shiok right. my wallet also shiok. dun worry. LOL. after drinking, all felt tired and so slept there. then germ had 2 leave... juz before leaving, weiyang had 2 puke. lolx. it wasnt the sight i expected when i wanted 2 pee to see wy sprawled on the toilet floor puking. removed all the need i had 2 pee. LOLX.

sunday, went down shaun's place to play soccer. LOL. go there play 1 game only! damn sian lor. nxt tym muz play more... needa get my shoes first. not used 2 playing soccer in my runnin shoes.

monday, Basic Theory Test. lolx. thought i was gonna fail man. lucky got motivation. LOLX. in the end, i passed with a study tym of 1 hr. LOL. so many qns i werent sure. and ppl tell me its ALL common sense. man, u guyz were tryin 2 trick me into failing right. LOLX. applied for my Final Theory. gay dates again. another 2 months. ma test is in May. LOL. y cant they gimme in like a mth or smth. heh. delay like that and my license, maybe ORD lo, also havent get yet. lolx.

and did i mention... i feel so in love. LOL

2007-03-07T23:45:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Justin Timberlake - What Goes Around... Comes Around
Mood : .moodless.

well... juz completed 1 of the most crazy DotA games in a long tym. Tiny with 500+ dmg... lolx... DotA is once again becoming interesting. lolx... despite not training as much as last tym, it seems i can still play quite ok. enuf 2 win public games though. lolx.

past few days haf been passing by at a relative okay pace... juz implemented a new system amongst the 3 of us RP sgts. lolx. quite a lame system but at least it gets the work done. and it doesnt help that the OFF/EXTRA book was found missing in the guardroom and the idea of having everybody's off gone became very threateningly real. lolx. luckily for every1, we didnt have to burn anything as long as we rmb when the off was from. lolx. i cld only rmb 2 out of my 2.5 days of OFF but at least i got smth out of it...

friday gonna head to MIND cafe... lolx... so long since ive gone... will b my 2nd tym there. lolx. tot i said i wun go there again. but oh well, YC likes 2 play these. lolx.. so follow lor... need 2 get 2 noe my fellow sgts better. lolx. 3 specs + 1 ex-BSO... shd become quite a fun affair. lolx.

saturday, DXO. lolx... not many ppl sia... wad a pity dan and the grp wun b gg. lolx. if not got so many mre ppl. at the moment only me, kelvin chia, derrick, weiyang, mel and germ going. lolx. 6 people... need MORE! lolx... im going crazy again. as the night moves on, i get mre n mre hyper. wonder hw i actually do get to slp at 2am. lolx... but i can prolly slp cos of the fact that i wake up at 540+ everyday. lolx. 3+ hrs of slp every nite. surely can sleep. lolx...

been doing lotsa running. needa regain my 2.4km timing. cant afford to lose my IPPT Gold... i seriously need that $200 bonus. lolx... did my pull-ups 2dae and shit, i struggled at the 12th 1... not a good sign.. though its good enuf for the 5 points, it shows im weakening. tym 4 the push-up regime to resume. haf been slacking up over the past mths. even cut down on that darn bball machine in the arcade! lolx, im sure that somehow attributes to my weakening strength. lolx. any1 wanna go do some running, pls call me along. i would love all sorts of company running. heard a person runs way better with company. lolx. i wouldnt mind doing 2.4km, 3km, 5km or even 10km runs. lolx. so pls call or sms me if u wanna do some running. lolx. i'll b glad 2 free up some time to go do some training.

2007-03-03T18:12:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Good Charlotte - Keep Your Hands Off My Girl
Mood : .hang.Over.saysitall.

well... ytd was a real quick day in camp. report to camp same old time b4 having the LIVE run thingy. run 3km. kinda ez. the pace was slow i guess. not good enuf for an IPPT gold... my timing has taken such a huge hit since leaving SISPEC. i struggle to obtain a 10minute timing. how m i 2 cut down on tt excess 15 seconds. guess i'll haf 2 continue running a lot more. after the 3km run, our original plan was 2 sit down and have breakfast and relax till noon. but in the end, we cld only maintain the breakfast part of the deal as after breakfast at arnd 10, BSO asked us y havent we changed back into out uniform and gave us work 2 do. at 12, we changed to civilian attire and headed down to Marina South for our mess bowling activity. skeptical about it at 1st but in the end, it turned out to become a damn fun activity. lolx. all the laughter as people miss their bowls and all. craziness.

after the bowling activity, i headed home and showered and all b4 heading down to shaun's place for his birthday celebration BBQ. quite a turnout but according to shaun, its below the expected number. there was germaine and her bf, tonia, charm, russell, derrick, me and mel. ok, after typing it out, doesnt really seem like much. lolx. they cld all fit into a line. but yea... i got wasted. lolx. wonder how too. i drank real little. probably its because i had too little food before drinking. juz hate the feeling of gettin wasted. that makes it the 2nd tym i throw up under the influence of alcohol... sighz... and derrick had 2 send me home again. damn sad guy la he. always muz take care of me whenever i get wasted. the last tym at DXO also is he save my life. lolx. even after getting home, i still wanted 2 throw up... hug my toilet bowl till fall aslp. damn disgusting i noe. but wad 2 do. later throw up on the floor get worse shit frm ma parents. lolx. at 4am, then i returned to my room 2 sleep after my dad woke me up in the toilet. lolx.

2dae havent been doing much other than WoW and DotA... i guess thats wad makes up my life. in fact, ive got not much life. gotta go out and do some shopping though. prolly go like tmr or smth. gotta waste away my converse voucher, get myself a new pair of street soccer shoes, take a look at the Nike Limited Edt Dunks, get new clothes and all. lolx... shopping is good, but spends a lil too much of my pathetic NS pay, though many people will complain that im getting a lot more than em. lolx. currently waiting for my dinner before probably go to MOS. lolx...

gettin wasted was a mistake
juz like all the other mistakes
that ive made through my life

2007-02-27T20:57:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : High School Musical - Breaking Free
Mood : .puzzled.STRESSED.bored.

well... tomorrow is my last duty of february. duh right, since tmr is the last day of feb as well. lolx. 2dae had quite a fucked up beginning... our run was cancelled due to the rain... and the RP schedule was vandalized by a RP who's gonna ORD soon... real soon. wad caused the action i do not noe, but i tink it was a real stupid decision. originally, the schedule planned by a fellow spec indicated that the spec would do an hour of desk. but this RP, without using his brains, decided to change the "YC" to "YC/WY/J" meaning the hour of desk duty was split amongst the 3 of us specs and then he added "20 mins a day, $700 a month, thus $1.75 a minute" next to it. this didnt sit well with the specs and we thus reported it up to the BSO. sadly, the punishment we were hoping for was severely lacking. all they went through was a simple turnout 2 check their field packs to make sure they had everything. furthermore, the RP involved wasnt in the turnout as he was standing sentry at the moment. thus, only innocent personnel were affected by this act of dumbness by the RP. personally, i cannot stand this kinda nonsense and i would haf dealt with him provided i was in another camp. in this camp, the rank i hold does not possess much power and authority... if only i were in BMT, the end result of this would be drastically different.

2 add to the misery, tomorrows duty originally had a real good DO in the form of LTA Clara. lolx. apparently her duties are all rather peaceful and all cos she doesnt believe in turnouts. but wad a horrible change in destinies when i saw in the Routine Orders that the DO had been changed to 2LT Alex... drastically different... he is 1 who indulges in turnouts on most if not all his duties. apparently his turnouts haf nonsensical reasons too such as the Guard Commander not being up to standard and all. looks like i'll haf to prepare myself and my guards tmr for turnouts. heh. hopefully nothing else screws up. i shd b able 2 handle a turnout or 2. lolx.

this week seems to be breezing by. duty tomorrow and then thursday, i'll only haf 2 work frm 1pm to 530pm as i'll haf my duty rest. friday will be even better as i'll be at the Mess Bowling session. after which, i'll haf 2 rush home to gather my stuff and go down for Shaun's BBQ. however, this BBQ seems to haf many puzzling details all relating to the string of weird messages that Shaun sent juz a while earlier (about an hr ago). details will not be mentioned here.

my life seems 2 b picking up
with me regaining some cheerfulness
in my attitude and communications

2007-02-23T13:14:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Beyonce - Listen (Dreamgirls OST)
Mood : .DUN ASK.

well, now that my keyboard is fixed, i can finally stop using the fucking on-screen keyboard that every computer has. its so fuckin retarded i decided to get off msn since i take so fucking long to reply a single sentence with as many short forms as i could use. now that i can use my Logitech once again, my ranting can finally be blogged. hopefully i can still rmb most of the content that i wanted 2 put up tt day.

2 days ago... the day my keyboard broke down.
i came home a pissed off guy as my keyboard was down. without my keyboard, not only could i not play WoW or DotA but i cldnt even do my most basic activity (MSN). thus... not a very happy person. after which, i received a phone call askin me to go down to Dhoby Ghaut. only after i asked, did i noe they were gonna catch Ghost Rider. thx man, i c that there was "an" intention 2 ask me along. after that, they tried 2 get a tic near their seat apparently. cmon, do i look like a 6 year old kid? i oredi knew it was 90% impossible 2 get a seat nearby. i only went down 2 use the arcade. after which, "A" said that i shd watch since he cld juz watch with his frenz and i shd watch with "B". wad u sayin do0d, that ive got no other frenz 2 watch it with? i noe i aint s sociable s u. but i do haf my own grp of frenz. i dun take kindly 2 this kinda comments. juz a mental note 4 u. thus, i was so bored and went down to dhoby ghaut to play arcade for a mere 15 minutes before i headed home. i purposely took bus home so that i dint feel like such a loser.

im gonna return 2 my old world. one, with juz me. im not gonna care abt anything or anyone else. keep my out of ur lives. i want 2 be alone. leave me be. i noe i wun die without everyone's company. i can live with juz my computer. i cant rmb all my rants. and this is enuf. im gonna go off now. cyaz.

ive had enuf
its tym 4 me 2 leave
u may still talk 2 me
but u will NOT c me

2007-02-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : -NIL-
Mood : -NIL-

well. today is the last day of the Chinese New Year break which was supposed to last 5 days for me since last friday was also an off course of some meeting for the regulars. But, this good news wasnt to be mine as during the "GSAB CNY Celebrations", i was suddenly told that i had 2 replace Kobchai's Guard2IC duty on friday due to some carelessness in planning by my dearest officer. hahaz. tt also meant that i would haf 2 sleep in on CNY eve as i would b dead tired thus reducing my 5 days of break into the 3 days of CNY that we get off. hopefully, i get compensated duly for the extra shit that i had 2 do.

over the course of the past 3 days, there has been visiting, the munching on goodies and also the all important collection of hong baos (yes, im a money minded fool). however, every year whenever people compare their takings for the festival, im always left as the jealous guy sitting in the corner as my rewards are always so damn small compared to the rest. juz yesterday, after the dota outing, weili was discussing on how he got 400+ even though his maternal side of the family are all overseas. wow, even wif all my relatives in town, i still only got a whooping 170bucks. if i dun remember wrongly, thats already quite high compared to my previous year's takings! so i shd feel oh so happy.

today, there was soccer at shaun's place. interesting. lucky we arranged 2 play there cos the turnout was juz horrendous. at his place, there was another grp that were gonna play so we ended up playing tgt. the more the merrier. after soccer, went for lunch at the nearby hawker center and we talked abt all the happy times of ACS(BR). though ACS(BR) life was fun, i still tink that the life at CJC was the best so far. with all the Air Rifle peeps, my life was juz so entertaining. after lunch, juz went home and slept. reading through the Digital Life for today, i saw the article about the cool phones at some overseas convention. man, the Motorola RIZR Z6 is juz so nice. + theres green in the design! wad an attractive phone. gotta get my hands on 1 when it comes out in Singapore. wonder how long it will take to release in Singapore.

tomorrow marks the return to camp after the nice long break. looking at the current situation, i guess the field pack inspection will be tomorrow. luckily, my field pack is nicely packed oredi and thus there shdnt b much problems. i only worry abt my men not havin their field packs packed in the right manner then i get in trouble for not ensuring that their stuff are done the right way. thats the sad life of a specialist man. we get blamed from both the btm and the top. talking abt getting blamed from the btm. this morning i received a call from the RP on duty ytd. man, i shd haf known not to pick up. he called and told me that i had 2 activate a replacement as the RP that was on duty today still hadnt turned up at 755 even though the reporting time was 800. after going through so much trouble to ring other RPs up (most had phones off and those that were on, didnt pick up), they called back and told me that the RP on duty had finally woken up at a whooping 810. man, was he late. lolx.

thursday i have freakin duty. no mood 2 do duty after such a long break sia. i wanna go out and play the basketball machine and my initial d with my Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution 4. though it got trashed ytd by a pro, im so not demoralised and will continue 2 strive on to improve my car. HA!

my mind is so clouded
that i cant c a thing
i cant think a thing
and the world is collapsing
without me knowing

2007-02-11T22:34:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : MCR - This Is How I Disappear
Mood : .bored.RELAXED.sianz.

well... CNY is around the corner and my 1st duty for February is also drawing closer. in fact, its juz 2 days more for my duty. the day where there will be an audit. screw up. how unlucky can i get. but well, work is work. cant complain. this week will b kinda short. monday (aka tomorrow) will be PRIDE Day for us. meaning half day at Singapore Discovery Center. lolx. relax sia. tuesday duty. wednesday duty rest half day, then work the rest of the day. thursday, CNY celebration dinner in the evening and friday i heard is off. woohoo! love offs. lolx. makes life in army way more passable. without offs, i guess army life will b hard 2 pass.

nothing much has occurred over the past few days other than some "bonding" sessions with some RPs. lolx. after the MSER challenge at Kranji camp, we went home b4 meeting up again to play pool at Meridian Shopping Center there. interesting games we all had. was at MOS yesterdat with Kelvin Chia (ex-Base Security Officer) and derrick. was rather cramped through the night but also saw a cute girl. lolx. also spotted a nice pair of jeans at River Island thx 2 Tonia. prolly shall go down tmr to try and c if it really is tt nice as it looks. maybe wear oredi nt tt nice. lolx. if nice then buy 4 CNY. even though im not going visiting also need 2 buy new clothes. if u r thinking y im nt going visiting, its because a taxi can only fit 4 passengers and my family has 5 ppl. thus, 1 person will haf 2 sit out. i guess i'll stay home and play WoW and listen to my MP3s.

anybody got any nice songs 2 recommend me 2 download. i need more songs in my collection. lolx.

There're things that I have done,
You never should ever know!

And without you is how I disappear,
And live my life alone forever now.
- extracted from MCR - This Is How I Disappear

wad shd i do
these thoughts keep repeating
over and over again in my head
its like a never ending loop
that i can never get out of

2007-02-07T00:37:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Akon feat. Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Love You
Mood : .sian.BORED.hopeful.

sianz... 2dae was Lt Kelvin Chia's ORD. man... cant wait 4 my own ORD after seeing how happy he was after exchanging his 11B for the pink IC that we were forced 2 exchange for a year ago 4 me. so quickly tym flies and im down to juz 1 remaining year before i ORD. cant wait 4 tt day though. however, with the leaving of army also comes more worries including where will the income come in from. it also spells the impending entry into university where studies again become an important point in one's life. me, being the type tt cant get force myself 2 study, will definitely haf trouble when the tym comes 2 enter university. with all the smart kids arnd u, it will really b tough when all u haf in ur mind is World of Warcraft, movies and pool. lolx. tts the kinda guy i m. since JC. where everyone was so gd at maths in the F maths class, and all i cld tink of was where 2 DotA after school wif the shooting guyz. so it was kinda lucky tt i managed 2 get through my A levels with grades good enough to enter NTU. but tt was a year ago. so much tym has passed and i havent really changed.

2 celebrate his ORD, the 3 specs and a few of the RPs went down to some KTV in chinatown... me, being the kind tt doesnt sing. sorta paid money 4 a hilarious concert. listening to em sing and laugh at each other was really an eye opener as it was my 1st tym gg to KTV. still dun really noe wads so fun abt it though. id rather spend the money in a club, at a cinema or juz playing pool. lolx.

**i wanna go invisible
**i dont wanna go between people
**i juz wanna disappear
**like the song by My Chemical Romance
**cos it sucks to be in the middle
**and be the 1 tt breaks things up
**i shd juz die

when will i learn
not to commit so many mistakes
especially mistakes tt r so grave
tt i can nv fix em
no matter hw much i try

2007-02-02T00:03:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : My Chemical Romance - This Is How I Disappear
Mood : .feel.like.disappearing.into.oblivion.

whew. juz came back frm being range chamber safety specialist. freakin tiring day. standing arnd guiding the BOBOs and the marksmen, ensuring safety is always taken into account and all that shit. with juz a few hrs of break allocated to lunch and dinner. considering i woke up at 4.40am this morning, im quite amazed i stayed awake during the day. though i obviously did take a lil bit of shut eyes here and there. but its juz not enuf.

watching all the shooting brings back memories of CJC Air Rifle (the sighting and all) and all the ranges i have had since enlisting. being in the shoes of the chamber specialist is really different frm that of the shooter. as the shooter, u need not worry a bit abt the zeroing process. juz concentrate on aiming the same spot. wad an easy job that is... i had 2 keep clicking the thing 2 zero their darn rifles. lolx. luckily the seniors were ever present to help along.

now that range is over for the day, my mind got thinking again. not that i wasnt thinking abt all those stuff during range, but juz not as much. with all the free time in the world at home, my mind got into overdrive thinking of all that has happened 2 me through my life. and it seems... that all the girls that ive liked, always seem 2 disappear into oblivion. wad a sad life i have. if this keeps up, there wun b any more gals i like in this world. HA.

saturday, underage party. hu going? i dunno if i can go with my "massive" amount of hours sleeping over the past few days. and i wouldnt want 2 go alone either. no cash too. luckily pay is in abt 8 days time... 1 week mre to go, and i can go spending again! shop shop movie movie! hahaz. gotta watch "300", and many more. catch Apocalypto if u enjoy shows abt tribal ppl and the way they go abt their lives. i like the sacrificing. heh. kinda sadistic i am. lolx. rolling heads.

and... vivocity has a nice rooftop 2 enjoy scenery man. i love it! lolx. im such a slacker.

[edit 2/2 12.06am]
respondin to charm's blog.
Make a list of 5 things not many people know about you, then tag 5 people to do the same!
1) I like girls
2) My index finger is smashed
3) I love girls
4) I dun like tellin ppl wad they dunno abt me
5) I dun like doing surveys

-TAGGED ONES-
1) no-one
2) no-one
3) no-one
4) no-one
5) no-one (and tts cos no1 visits)

the more things i do
the mre screwed up i become
and also the mre thoughts i haf
in my head

2007-01-22T20:15:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : James Morrison - You Give Me Something
Mood : .okay.OKAY.okay.

lolx. wad a mood. im beginning 2 feel much better oredi. though once in awhile i still feel crappy. but yea... at least now im nt 24/7 crappy. lolx. tmr gonna haf off. this week shd b 1 of the fastest i'll feel in the army.

2dae... was escort to DB... a shitty feeling indeed. especially when u noe the person u r sending in. however, his positive thinking is 1 2 b admired. frm the moment we walked over 2 him, to the reading of the charge, to the cuffing, to the delivery to the MO b4 to the DB, he was all smiles and talk. if it was me, id most likely b broken down and needed 2 b dragged there. he posed totally no problems for us as we escorted him there. being the guy tt brought him all the way into the room where he was made 2 surrender all his stuff... i cld feel his positiveness dwindling down a lil. however, he dint let it show.

wednesday and thursday, gonna b chamber spec for Chemical Defence. lolx. to meng, shen and max, rmb CD? lolx. damn freakin fun right. lolx. and now i get to go into the chamber again. LOL! though this tym it will b slightly different as a spec, its still gonna b fun! i hope.
then maybe thursday night can go shaun's place 2 play soccer again. its always so fun 2 play soccer. so long never play, then saturday went down 2 shaun's place 2 play. so damn fun. lolx.

missing out on clubbing last saturday, hope can go soon. yongshen [little prince], if u wanna/can go clubbing, remember 2 jio me leh! u this kind, sure attract gal 1, then i can go join in the fun. lolx. if any1 else also going clubbing need company, jio me leh. this weekend i no duty. can go out. not clubbing, wanna go out also PLEASE jio me. lolx.

feeling much better now
thx 2 all the things happening
arnd me
and also the frenz tt haf been there

2007-01-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : All Saints - Rock Steady
Mood : .DeepThought.

well... juz spent... 66 dollars on Burning Crusade. lolx. the addiction of WoW. the moment its released, i haf it installed on my com. LOLX. in fact, im installing it now as i juz got home after going out wif shaun, ton and dino. hahaz long tym no meet man dino. gotta meet up more...

umm. this saturday maybe going clubbing. any1 wanna join? wanna join drop me a sms. ive got duty this friday! lolx, then all my duties for the month of January will be over. as of the current schedule planned for February, my duties are... not on CNY! WOOHOO! lolx. but i got the 1st and last days of the month. the 1st and 28th. at least no Valentine's Day duty so hu wanna jio me go out?! hahaz! NOBODY! lolx.

and yea... shaun juz now asked me a qn. lolx. wad do i wanna buy for her... u noe... i havent been tinking abt it. got so much on my mind now. and most of it involves her. but not the buyin of something. juz... the frenship we haf... its going DOWN. LOLX!omfg im going mad. [begins digging arnd for old IMH appointment card]... [as of 12.00MN, BC HAS BEEN INSTALLED COMPLETELY SUCCESSFULLY!]... yea... so, dun ask me abt the present... i dun even tink i will get 2 meet her or talk much wif her anymore. u dunno the situation now man. nor do i noe much abt ur life now. we gotta spend less tym clubbing and more tym talkin abt out lives. lolx. 2 much tym spent in clubs means too lil tym spent in a quiet environment talking. lolx.

feel like juz remaining cold
and isolated in my own world
it'll prolly b the best choice
out of all the mistakes ive made

2007-01-14T00:23:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Akon Ft. Snoop Dogg - I Wanna Love You
Mood : .calm.DAZED.sian.

sianz... 2mr my weekend duty for this mth. lucky most mths will only haf like 1 weekend duty. but tt is oredi a lot. lolx. considering there arent many weekends in a mth. all the fun tt i will miss out on. the past 2 days haf been fun.

ytd, out wif Charm... nice yea. lolx. long tym no meet. went 4 dinner, walk arnd and arcade. lolx. dint noe u were into arcades too. hahaz. mre bball machines man... damn addictive ehz. u shdnt get addicted 2 it girl. lolx. its bad 4 the money.

2dae, out wif Tonia... lolx... ure mad... seriously... but yea... i still feel depressed. i can still feel it... though maybe its gettin less and less. but things are really... gettin worse. like i told u, i wanna talk 2 her... but its like gettin harder and harder.

im actually in a MSN convo wif her... but after the usual hello... theres been no replies. i shd probably juz disappear now... i cant take this... need mre alcohol 2 drown out my thoughts. my head is constantly being flooded with thoughts... i tink i shd totally stay out of people's lives and lead my own life away and isolated frm others. it juz brings shit n pain 2 me... i need 2 totally revert 2 my cold lifestyle. 1 which does not require other people in my life...

and yea, wanted 2 apply 4 my BTT 2dae... then turns out saturday got half day so i went there late and couldnt apply. prolly i shall go down on wednesday 2 apply. needa clear my BTT and ATT quick then concentrate on the practicals...

i need help
but i dunno where to look
shd prolly look within me
and stay cold on the outside

2007-01-08T19:28:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Justin Timberlake feat. T.I - My Love
Mood : .bored.SIAN.relieved.

havent blogged since last thursday. after some thought, maybe wad i blogged abt last thursday was out of paranoia. since talking to her after that, it really appears that it was all fear on my part. there was no need 2 tink that way as it wasnt her intention for tt 2 happen. i accept her explanations.

weekend was excellent i guess. or rather it was kinda short. slept through most of it. hahaz. saturday nite was at zouk for the hollywoodglamor inter-jc pageant. the 1 in which the JJC gal won. at least the ACJC gal won like 4 awards. she deserved em man. lolx. the pics in the website were kinda deceiving. i actually tot the SRJC gal was kinda good. i muz haf saw wrongly. the JJC 1 aint tt bad though. heh. yea... the nite was excellent... didnt really drink much cos of my current financial status with an ATM account balance of $1.95! its a record low man. the night's drinking count is 1 Vodka Lime, 1/3 Jug of more Vodka Lime and 4 Tequila shots. lolx. cld haf drank mre if i had juz mre cash. too bad im damn hard up now.

gonna begin learning driving soon i hope. after doing some research, it seems tt i muz go register for my BTT b4 anything actually happens. probably shall do it this weekend. the earlier i complete driving lessons the better. wonder hw many tries i'll take 2 pass though. considering i constantly play arcade driving, i might take like 4-5 times to pass! lolx! tt will be so darn expensive.

my 2nd guard commander duty is on wednesday. darn it. hope it rains. everytime it rains, its good news as it means there wun b any turnout.

DAMN BORED! any1 wanna jio me out next week? might oredi haf an event wif lingzhi oredi. any1 else? friday cannot cos i got duty. quick ask me out!!! POOL! BOWLING! ARCADE! SHOP! MOVIE! ANYTHINGGG! lolx.

wonder how will things carry on frm here
will it get better
or continue spiralling down
as before

2007-01-04T22:36:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : MCR - I Don't Love You
Mood : messedup.FUCKEDUP.fucked.

i dunno wad happened. things were okay. we were talking... but all of a sudden. communication isnt there. its juz gettin real hard 4 me 2 talk 2 u. and ur nick changed. dunno if im tinking too much or wad.

m i the mr superficial ure tokin abt? did i say smth wrong in the previous convo? if so, i muz noe. but i'll most likely nt noe. 1 mre problem added 2 my list of shit in my life.

my 1st guard duty and lots mre shit flows in. m i a reservoir for shit? or a shit magnet. wtf... i needa drink. i needa drink till i 4 get everything. best if i get knocked out frm all the alcohol. this saturday would b a gd tym... Zouk here i come... some1 btr bring me home if i do get knocked out.

i needa do mre pushups. its nt helpin me 4get stuff anymore. used 2 work... maybe i needa go blow my nxt mth pay on stuff agn. it does help 2 remove thoughts frm my head 4 awhile.

things r spiraling
downhill
and i cant find the damned brakes

2007-01-01T09:40:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : My Chemical Romance - I Don't Love You
Mood : .sad.DISAPPOINTED.tired.

well been wanting to post since after my duty which ended on 27th dec morning. wad a way 2 start my birthday, in camp. lolx. yea... thx 2 those tt sent me those birthday messages. nice 2 noe that ppl actually rmb these dates. lolx. however... i dint get a msg frm some1...

yea... anyway, internet has been kinda screwy recently... thx 2 the earthquake. but it seems 2 b shaping up oredi. gotta play WoW before the Burning Crusade comes out though... only 20k sets to be brought in first.

yea, ytd had my 2nd and last Guard2IC duty... had a bloody turnout at night... lucky it ended near the countdown... then can countdown. yea right. lolx. thx 2 those agn hu msged. lolx. enjoying celebrations outside while i was in camp ehz. lolx. and yet again, some1 dint msg. dint pick up my call either. sighz.

yep thats it. gotta meet shaun and the rest for sushi soon. its been quite some time since we actually sat down and talked. the tym at St James dint count cos it was hard 2 talk. lolx. HAPPY NEW YEAR people!

if only...
i meant a bit more
than nothing.

2006-12-25T16:46:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Nightmare - the WORLD
Mood : .pleased.CALM.settled.

well... i noe i blogged earlier in the day. but after tt post, ive been tinking abt all the things tt haf been happening arnd me. and ive realised that almost in every case, ive been the party in the wrong. so ive decided to apologize and hope that i can get back the life that i led in the past.

1stly... im prolly juz jealous... tt every1 arnd me is sociable while i am juz... well cold... every1 can talk amongst each other and make frenz so easily. while, im the... quiet 1... the 1 tt doesnt want to talk at all. this has been me for so long oredi. i dun tink i can even change.

2ndly... i noe i shdnt b feelin awkward shaun. ive tot abt it... so yea... i was in the wrong. i dint need 2 feel awkward... things shd b ok regarding this issue now. cya on wednesday nite at st james bro. i need u 2 b there. lolx.

3rdly... smth muz b terribly wrong with me. lolx. my settings muz b wrong. i can only attract guyz and uber young girls. lolx. wtf is wrong man.

4thly... i gotta control my money flow. less taxi rides frm now on. even if im gonna b late i prolly shd take bus/train still. lolx... if nt no money. this mth alone, ive loaned 200 dollars frm my mum and its oredi gone... so long mre till payday. how m i 2 survive. cant even get my drinks... (BREWERKS has nice beer)

so yea, sorry 2 every1 arnd me... ive been at fault and nt realise. nt only tt, but i also scolded many of u guyz and yet u all still stayed ok. my apologies. hopefully, everything will return 2 wad it was in the past. though i'll probably still be the cold Jerold that most of u noe.

i'll nv be a outspoken guy
no matter wad ive gone through
the cold personality still suits me
even though it brings me lil frenz

2006-12-25T13:57:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Noises frm the television set
Mood : .messedup.MESSEDUP.severelymessedup.

its christmas today, and i still havent sorted out all the shit in my head... all those xmas wishes thing... they nv eva come true do they... if only they do... my wish every year is roughly similar and yet it never comes true. is it really impossible?

sry shaun, tonia, charm... ytd, really felt... in a mess... cldnt help it. dun ask me y... in fact, im still in a mess now... hopefully this will all settle down soon. i dont mean to look sian all the time... it spoils the atmosphere for u guyz... maybe i'll stay home till i sort this out...

anyway, every1 enjoy yer xmas yea... ive got duty tmr. then woohoo... the day has come. wonder wad will happen. awaiting the dinner frm her! lolx. shd i get a gift? lolx. bah. i dunno. lolx.

been drinkin beer abit mre now... last tym i dun even like beer man. only drank vodka products... but now, everytym nite tym go out, muz buy 1 bottle of beer. lolx. weird. wednesday... St James Power Station. who wants 2 go? tell me or shaun quick... the mre the merrier. its Ladies Nite and for guyz, its $15 entry with 2 free drinks... ownage... drinks will b on me! rmb! sms/call/msn me if u wanna go

i dunno y i tink tt way
shd i heed advice
and stay clear totally

2006-12-23T02:44:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : JUNE - Baby It's You
Mood : .stoned.STRESSED.sad.

hmm... this song is nice man... current ending song of Bleach which has finally concluded the Bounto segment i hope.

well, going sentosa in like a few hrs time... shaun pang seh lor. lolx. i tot u going. but nevermind, shd b got enuf ppl 2 njoy bah. nw gotta hope tt the weather is good if nt all the activities will b ruined lor. ask max wads the wet weather program, he say still go sentosa. wonder wad we can do over there when its raining. hehz.

2dae went on mad shoppin sia... got myself a new wallet (to replace the old 1 with a hole at the coin compartment), tshirts, shorts, shoes and socks. lolx. plus the bag i bought recently, man, ive got almost all the things that i wanted. lolx. now left the mre useless stuff. like the notebook similar to the Deathnote that the stall in Cineleisure sells. also wanna catch some movies. like Deathnote2 and Curse of the Golden Flower. man... looks good. but gotta find time and people to watch it with.

went clubbing last night at MOS. man, my 1st tym in there after my attempt to enter on the MILKSHAKE night failed horribly. lolx. its kinda a nice place and the SIM-UOL pageant was there. hmm... tink i saw shaun's fren as a contestant there. dunno if i saw wrongly. went there and had my free drink b4 leaving MOS with my officer to go 7-11 to buy beer. downed a bottle of carona quickly b4 re-entering MOS and into the dance floor. tts where i met Joanne. lolx. long tym no c... but b4 long, lost her agn. lolx. didnt haf much 2 drink through the night though. at 2-3am there was 1for1 so me n my officer went to try the Red Ice thingy... kinda weird. tastes alot like juice. lolx. but the red blinking light is kinda attractive.

on the 27th prolly gonna club again. saw an advertisement sayin tt wednesdays at St. James Power Station is like ladies night, and for guys its $15 entry with 2 drinks. lolx. tts a pretty good offer man. lolx. or maybe i shd go Zouk or juz stay home and relax with my computer. lolx.

things arent going that smoothly in my life
i tot things would b btr after i made myself clear
but mre things haf been coming in
how m i 2 clear my life

2006-12-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Nightmare - the WORLD
Mood : .stressed.STRESSED.stressed.

bah... i dunno y m i feeling so stressed
its like everything/every1 arnd me has a bone 2 pick with me
i get severely irritated very easily recently
and Devin aint helping much
abit mre n i'll make sure he's going DB

tmr half day leave
2nd half of the day gotta figure out wad 2 get for tt gift xchange thing
i dun haf the habit of gettin gifts for others
so suggestions please come in
details of gathering is:
a gathering for army guyz
budget - $20

tmr night prolly go clubbing
might b a gd place 4 me 2 get rid of all the stress
prolly drink till i puke then go home or smth
but no sim 2 help me get home in tt case. lolx

weather recently has been a bitch
hopefully it'll all clear up by saturday
then the gathering at sentosa can still carry on
due to the rain
the meeting of me, kenneth, mathew and jess
ended up being juz a meetin of me and kenneth
mathew's path to town was apparently a flooded mess
well, i'll believe u frm the pix ive seen

birthdays and gift-related occasions
wads the pt of gifts
pls dun give me anything
not like many ppl r gonna rmb
the date which is comin
the date when i return frm my 1st duty
the date which was never significant

im so darn stressed
but i dunno y
how m i 2 solve
when i cant find the cause

2006-12-19T22:52:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : YUI - Rolling Star
Mood : .spendthrift.HAPPY.drenched.

well... just saw the MV for Rolling Star by YUI [current starting song of Bleach]. wow, if i nv saw the MV, i would never noe that the singer is so darn pretty. lolx. but im also lookin 4 other songs. the WORLD by Nightmare is a nice song too. its the title song of the Death Note anime series.

ive also gotten the answer frm u... im happy yet sad at the same time but i'll make sure not to show the sad side to any1 outside. staying cheerful is good. hehz. happy that u like me as a fren. but yet sad that.... oh nvm. LOLX

another day of duty tmr b4 half a day on thursday then LEAVE! woot. then come back on the 26th for duty. my 1st ever guard2IC duty. tokin abt guard2, today BSO lt Ho came and ask me if january i wanna do guard2 or guardcom. lolx. i say anything then he kaobei me ask me choose 1. being a spec, i tot it would b weird if i said i wanna b guard2, so i garang garang say i wanna b guardcom. die liao lor. lolx.

saturday maybe going sentosa wif max, mengfei, chewyi and the rest for ASLC frenx gathering... haha hope shaun can go too... then we can go swim and canoe like wad we haf been waitin for so long. gotta get a gathering for dino and russ too. sushi again! hahaz!

well... though the answer is out
im hoping things will change
i still tink ive got a chance
juz whether... it will work out
in the right way

2006-12-14T22:48:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : My Chemical Romance - I Don't Love You
Mood : .Sian.WOW-ed.HAPPY.

weee... MCR's latest album "The Black Parade" really is good. many good songs inside including "Welcome to the Black Parade", "House of Wolves", "Mama" and many mre like the one im listenin to at this moment.

well, the past few days has been rather sian for me when im home as my family is in korea enjoying their holiday (or maybe not... heard they encountered some problems there. sob). alone at home has its pros and cons. pros being i haf the whole place 2 myself and can throw all my stuff everywhere being the messy person i am. i'll probably gotta tidy up the place b4 they return on Saturday night (WEE! THEY R COMIN BACK!). without my bro, WoW has lost quite a bit of its charm. but nevertheless, ive still played quite a bit of it over the past few days. haf also been out wif my "sis" (thx 4 havin dinner man... felt real sian at hm) and also with shaun, tonia and derrick today. (sry guyz 4 entering stoning mode halfway... was tinking abt stuff)

if not 4 em, my life would really be sian during my 1st period of leave since leaving SISPEC. tmr i'll be having my understudy for Guard2IC. at first i thought tt i would haf 2 stay in but now Yong Chuen said i might not need to... depending on BSO. oh yea, speakin of BSO, i went clubbing with my officer man. but tt night was real screwed...

at 1st, me and shaun had the intention of going to MOS for tt free thing... wad MILKSHAKE ah... end up, the queue was till Novotel hotel... wad a fuckin long queue. after quite a long wait, we decided to leave for Dbl O with my officer.... but it was full hse. we then headed to Butter Factory. but it was only open to members. thus we ended ourselves up at Coccolatte. wad a coincidence it was then that we met shaun, jue, nic and a whole lot of other people there. shaun wong got himself into some bad shape and the day ended with me and sim sending wong home. lolx.

"U 2 r like tgt but nt tgt"
i still dun really understand... but... i dun tink its possible u c... its mre like... "u 2 r nt tgt"... i dun c the tgt part. it juz doesnt look like its gonna happen... yea, she's a nice gal... but... ...

if only what u said is true to a certain extent
just the starting part
that would make my day
on tt special day

2006-12-07T20:58:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Chamillionaire ft. Krayzie Bone - Ridin' Dirty
Mood : .MaxedOutOnBOREDOM.

well.. been quite some time since ive blogged. if im nt wrong, since the last tym, ive oredi changed my com as my previous com broke down on me causing me to lose quite a bit of stuff including my whole Air Gear anime series. damned them. i tink i shd go redownload the series. missing the series oredi.

firstly, things at camp have been going pretty smoothly. gotten 2 noe my men better and can now talk 2 some of them at ease. even the commanders and my fellow sergeants have been understanding and helping me to adapt to my new surroundings. however, ive oredi been thrown into my schedule. with my first 2 Guard2IC duties coming up on important dates, i really wonder how my schedule will be like with my Guard Commander duties. ive got duty on the 26th (1 day after xmas and also 1 day b4 m bdae) and then theres also the 31st (New Years Eve!). looks like i'll be counting down in camp this year. zzz.

2ndly... friendship... looks like things have gotten better. u shd noe, im nt avoiding u.

and WoW! lolx. the game that has grabbed my attention like mad. playing it everyday since ive got a 8to5 job now... muz chiong lvl to reach my desired lvl 60 before the XPAC comes out. lolx.

next week, ive got leave from the 11th to 14th. so, jio me out if u all wanna play pool or catch a movie or juz meet up 2 chat. other than tt, ive also got leave on the 21st and 22nd. followed by 28th and 29th. these r the dates 2 note if u all want 2 meet up. DEATH NOTE 2 OPENS ON 28TH! WEEE!

i seriously am not avoiding u
im juz naturally closed

2006-11-29T00:27:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : None [songs in portable]
Mood : depressed.angryATmyself

just destroyed another friendship
why is it my fault again
why do i always do this kinda shit
why why why
where are the answers
ive never seen the answers
only that it happens time and time again
with me as the main cause of it all
its just me
i should disappear into oblivion
such that i wun cause such problems
ever... again

i didnt mean for it to turn out this way
is there no way of reversing it
i was not making use of you

2006-11-22T22:52:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : some sounds from the tv
Mood : .Puzzled.

ok. after looking through my posts, ive removed content related to training.

my first day at GSAB as a real spec was a rather boring day as usual. i was brought around learning the ropes from my 2 senior specs and also gettin my formation badge and infantry skill tabs. apart from all these, the day went by rather smoothly.

man... my head is in a mess. i dunno what the shit im thinking, saying and doing. thinking about things all the way from the beginning of my JC life and up till now. all the memories in this period of time, seem so familiar. its like things r repeating themselves over and over again. things that r unhappy and shdnt be repeating so often. however, the nice things never do repeat themselves. if only they did. there r many such memories that i would love reliving. but those that i want to put out of my life, keep reappearing. something really got to me juz now... but this will be kept to myself. it got to me rather badly i muz say. need some time 2 chill and relax. probably the Echo outing will help things better. maybe i need some alcohol too.

need a drinking buddy. one to drink all the way with me.
need a buddy. one that really noes me and not my fake identity. one that i can talk to at ease.

2006-11-21T19:37:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Panic At The Disco! - But It's Better If You Do
Mood : .Lost.UnableToThinkStraight.CantFigureOutThings.

well... tomorrow will be the actual day that work begins at my posting at GSAB HQ. over the past days since POP, ive been at GSAB HQ (Rifle Range Camp 1) watching what the other RP specialists and men do during their shifts and learning the ropes from em. oh yea, i didnt tell u guyz, my job at GSAB HQ will be that of a RP Specialist (RP COMMANDER or u can call it SECURITY GUARD.zzz). Out of the 4 of us posted to GSAB HQ as RP specs, we all got posted out to different places. im staying at GSAB HQ (PAD) while chew yi goes to PLAD (Pasir Laba Ammo Dump) and the other 2 go TAD (Tengah Ammo Dump) and PYAD (Paya Lebar Ammo Dump). PAD is relatively convenient to go other than the long way into the camp from the main road. my job is from 8am to 5pm thus i can go for dinner with u guyz if u guyz want. leave me a sms if u wanna. my phone is reachable 24/7 unless its outta batt. lolx.

other than this... things havent been going well... just today... many things happened. my D drive juz got problems and blew up... all my stuff tt r stored in there r nw unretrievable... luckily my music and anime (except Air Gear which was recently relocated into D drive) are all saved. 103 episodes of Bleach. phew. imagine downloading those again. lolx. another major issue... i shall not talk about here... it is this other issue that is causing me the most headache... its killing me... if it wasnt bad enough to be left alone at GSAB HQ, things had to get worse... losing a fren like tt... WTF la... FUCK IT MAN! zzz... cant take this la...

as for the outing this weekend... too lil response then fucking dun go lor. zzz... kaobei, say lousy organiser. fuck off la... u so zai, u go fucking do. dun fucking push to me. i give u my 8 to 5 job la. talk so much shit.

i need some1 to talk to man. some1....

2006-11-16T01:09:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : The Sad Sounds of my Life

many things have gone by since the last tym ive blogged. this is actually the 2nd tym im blogging this entry so im kinda upset by the fact ive gotta type again.

- ENTRY REMOVED -

POP
1 week after touching back down on Singapore soil, its time for my POP oredi. the day itself was supposed to be a cheerful occasion but the screwing up of the parade and the posting was out to ruin my day. the parade was rather crappy considering all the effort we had placed into it over the many rehearsals that we had. furthermore, i got some lame ass posting. im supposed to report to Rifle Range Camp Ammo Base to work. what a waste of time man. same as after BSLC, im gonna write a few words for ma good friends.

- ENTRY REMOVED -

2006-10-17T00:49:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Panic At The Disco - The Only Difference Between Matyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage

man, wad a long song title. okay... so i noe my tagboard is undergoing some problems causing some login things 2 appear right. juz cancel it twice then can liao. make do without the tagboard that aint tt noisy anyway. for any comments, feel free to hit my email or sms me.

- ENTRY REMOVED -

any1 want me 2 get em anything frm taiwan, sms me quick. and yea, i will be bringing my handfone, so u can still sms me. but replies might b limited as i cant really afford extravagant bills. lolx.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT
CharName Level?? Race Class Rank Server
Dommotgus Level 35 Undead Warrior Grunt Haomarush
Malmidan Level 21 Troll Rogue Grunt Haomarush
Rolia Level 21 Undead Rogue Scout Haomarush

2006-09-24T20:40:00.000+08:00

last week 4got 2 blog so yea... here i remember 2 do it. 15 minutes b4 i leave my hse for pasir laba camp again.

last week was a terrible and super long week. juz waiting for saturday to come, felt like many years. and saturday alone waiting for bookout, that felt even longer than the entire week. 1stly, last week we had our 32km CSB route march which encompasses river crossing in the middle of that crazy distance and also a 10shot marksmanship test at the end of the whole march. things were looking good at the start when morale was high. after the 8km march, cracks were beginning to show wif people beginning to lag behind the main group. b4 long, the platoon level was stretched till the safety rover at the end couldnt b seen. wad added 2 the problems was that our PC happened 2 walk on a wrong route and realised the mistake after 1.3km. thus, we turned around and continued on our journey resulting in a total distance of 34.6km travelled. 2.6km may seem like juz a small number compared to 32km, but, the tiredness level of the platoon was really stressed from it. finally, the march ended and the rest that they promised us? well, there wasnt tt much. we had lectures after a few hours of sleep. obviously, not many of us could keep our eyes open after having marched through the night.

it was also then, that we received news from our neighbouring Foxtrot company (who have seemed to be living lives worse than ours) that they had been given 2 nights off for returning through the march together without any people falling out. wow. we did the same thing, so we were looking forward 2 the good news from our OC. sadly, this nightsout was postponed day by day till saturday and it never visualised. if OC had juz made it direct that he would nt give us the nightsout, we would have felt btr. but no, he kept raising our hopes and then dashing them everyday. everyday, our morale dropped even lower. and the fact that i failed my SOC twice in a week didnt make things any better.

WORLD OF WARCRAFT
Dommotgus Level 27 Undead Warrior Scout
Malmidan Level 21 Troll Rogue Grunt

2006-09-10T19:21:00.000+08:00

and here the hour comes again. the time 2 book in draws even closer. in arnd 45 mins, i will haf 2 leave my hse n hope i do not b late. maybe i shd leave earlier. ok. so last week contained many things. we had, IPPT, guard duty, nights out (which i missed due to my guard duty), 10km run and also live range. hopefully i got the marksman badge from the shoot. if not, then nvm.

but maybe i shd nt talk abt army life, cos it again sends me down 2 depression. 2dae i went 2 catch Little Man wif mathew, nice show man,. lol. freakin funny. also purchased 2 GUNDAM model kits (Strike Freedom and Infinity Justice)

bah ive got nth much 2 blog now, shall go get prepared 2 go out. cya nxt week. which will b my last week that i get 2 book out on a saturday.

2006-09-03T19:02:00.000+08:00

book in again in 1 hrs time. this tym not gonna rush a cab down. juz gonna train. hopefully i wun b late. original intention was 2 blog a cheerful entry 4 once, but as the tym draws nearer, the mood again drops to shit. maybe i shd blog earlier nxt tym then the entry will be more... happy.

well... the week b4 was lame. 1st day, we ended up sleeping quite abit cos there was many stuff the sgts had 2 do. good 4 us... 2 a certain extent. looking over to foxtrot company made us pity our fellow friends that got posted there instead of echo coy. when we r sleeping and talking cock, they are busy doing stuff. when we book out, they were falling in to go for their lunch at the cookhouse. so yea, the 2nd day, we were supposed 2 go to elephant hill in the morning to collect our green beret. thus, we were asked to wake up at a freaking 3.40am to prepare. all that shit, juz for rain to come down from the skies, causing a CAT1 (which means, no outdoor activities 2 b carried out due to lightning risk). zzz. in the end, we were forced to wait till 5 plus without the comfort of our beds, before we could move off to elephant hill. all that shit, juz 4 us 2 collect the beret. im sure they could haf done it in the school. but no... they want 2 preserve the nature of the infantry, rushing up hills and marching around like idiots.

finally, it was book out day on saturday. this was the day, our OC displayed 2 us, how nice he can be. he once mentioned that during training, we will haf 2 b serious, but during free time, he can b real nice. he let us off frm his lecture without much problems so that we could go get washed up and book out.

and now, some happy moments. the night of book out, members of Golf Platoon 4 met up for a dinner at Fish&Co. mainly, me, mengfei, yuanli, kevintan, jingchyi, sherman, guofeng, daryl, songkiu, eric and daniel turned up. though eric and daniel dint haf the dinner, at least they showed up. nice 2 meet up wif all of em again even though its only been about a week since we split off frm platoon 4. it was real nice 2 talk cock with em about our units as well. hopefully, there can be more such outings in the near future. after the dinner, a few of us proceeded 2 go play dota before heading home.

the whole of today was spent playing WoW levelling up my character 3 times. finally, its lv 21 and i stole some bargain deals around the market. lolx. sadly, ive gotta book in again and wun haf the chance 2 play my char again for another week.

BTW, my taiwan training trip is scheduled for october 17th. if u ppl want 2 meet up before my trip, pls tell me earlier. lolx. but, i dun tink theres much chance 2 meet up as well, considering the weeks before mainly consist of sunday morning bookouts. i will be so tired and probably sleep through the day before booking in again. tt will really be sad. gtg now, cya around guyz

2006-08-30T19:26:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : none

fuckkk... gotta go catch a cab down to camp in 1 hours time. all because i have to report straight to camp and no bus is catered for easy transportation from boon lay MRT to PLC. considering how ive practically played away my entire block leave on dota and WoW, the feeling of having to return back to camp is rather... fucked up. over the past 3 days, ive been chionging the new mode of dota "-wtf" and also trying to rush through my WoW new character. Finally lvl 17... next book out, i muz try 2 chiong to 20. lolx. though i tink its impossible.

any1 got any idea wad tym bookouts are at ASLC? i sincerely hope that the bookouts will be on friday nights (but this is rather impossible) or saturday early mornings. hopefully its not like the first 5 weeks of BSLC where booking out was almost always in the evenings, granting us super little time off. well, those times we always made ourselves feel better by saying that at least we get 2 sleep on our beds. lolx.

tmr starts the beginning of my ASLC life. starting with a 6km run, and a quick fast march down to elephant hill to obtain my GREEN beret. how i wish my beret wasnt the green 1. most of my BSLC buddies will go on to obtain a BLUE beret at the artillery school. so cool. well, even if i got my PTI, it would also be green. lol. hopefully, i dun fall out during the 6km run and that i wont have to tilt my head much over the next few days as im currently suffering from a stiff neck. lol.

oh yea, u all might have noticed the jukebox thing at the bottom right corner of the blog. the playlist is :
1. Panic! At The Disco - I Write Sins Not Tragedies
2. Panic! At The Disco - Build God Then We'll Talk
3. Taking Back Sunday - Make Damn Sure
4. Jay Chou - Shan Hu Hai
5. Rupee ft. Daddy Yankee - Tempted To Touch
6. Beyonce ft. Sean Paul - Baby Boy

memories are all i have left.

2006-08-28T20:37:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Beyonce ft. Sean Paul - Baby Boy

its been 10 weeks since i last blogged. in that period of time, ive grown close to my platoon and section mates of Golf Company Platoon 4. this group of people, ive endured much pain and happiness with. from the most arduous activities like the late night 28km route march and section live firing to the most enjoyable activities like admin time, TBTL sessions and nights out, they have always been there. but now, this group of friends have to split up and go their various ways to their new units of which a majority end up in artillery while i carry on with the trainee life at ASLC course with the PRs and the malays. what im struggling to understand is why i'm one of the few SINGAPOREAN CHINESE in ASLC when majority of em are the PRs. why couldnt i b posted to one of the many units or even pass my PTI selection test. looks like going for the test and having Gold for IPPT and a pass in SOC gurantees me a place in the FS course. looks like wad ezekiel said was wrong, it wasnt confirmed for me to enter. but well, not like i would survive my life in the FS course. i cant imagine running the soc course in FBO when i get backaches whenever i carry that darned field pack. unless those PTIs are running with newspapers in their FBO. tt i will never noe until one of my frenz in the FS course runs it and tells me what it actually feels like. congratz to those that made it to the unit of their preference. and suck thumb for me, who got the place where many do not want to be at. now, i shall write a few words for each of my section mates.

[cpl lee chee chung] sign on. smoker. gd luck in ur army life do0d.
[cpl ang song kiu] SKANG. will always remember that. and bloody hell, u got into the FS course.
[cpl hong yuan li] medic spec ehz. hope u r not afraid of blood like kevin is. HAHA
[cpl welson sadikin] suck-it-in. thx 4 runnin wif me at the 10km run man. cya at ASLC.
[cpl nurizmal] ma buddy. i still got yer cap. 2 bad u had 2 ooc. im sure u wld haf enjoyed the rest of the course.
[cpl tan yong shen] shopping buddy. the guy tt i went out wif the most during my BSLC time. cya at ASLC bro. different section oredi.
[cpl chia meng fei] mofo. haha. anime buddy. thx 4 the gundam seed yea. cya at ASLC too. 2 bad we all different section.
[cpl zheng bin fei] chinaman. ASLC. different section also. and thx 4 tt weird chinese medication for my injury
[cpl kevin tan] medic spec who is afraid of blood and needles. i sense a horrible course ahead of u.
[cpl kelvin loo] loo wei zhang. sign on. ADA spec. hope u enjoy urself there man.

tym 4 some pix.

GOLF COY PLATOON 4 SECTION 3. i will miss u guyz.

GOLF COY PLATOON 4.

i juz found this. BMTC COUGAR COY PLATOON 4

2006-06-16T12:39:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : None

long tym no blog. and since i've juz got my posting, i might as well blog about it. POP has been more than a week ago. how time flies. well yea, ive finally got my posting. and im posted to SISPEC. how did i end up in command school, i also dunno. considering the fact that our platoon best ended up in SCDF, its weird how i managed 2 enter command school. but well, i juz gotta report and survive the next few months in there and hope to be posted back to BMTC where sgts are like big shits over there. lolx. yea, i will be reporting in on monday so it may be harder 2 contact me, pls understand. lolx. cyaz around guyz

2006-05-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Oasis - Wonderwall

well. field camp is over. and my honest opinion of it... its actually very fun, excluding the night spent sleeping in a soaked basha (a tent to normal people. made from 2 groundsheets stuck to the ground with 2 poles and 4 pegs). tym for more details.

Day 1/2/3 (2nd to 4th May)
Went to the 1st campsite (which happens to look like a rubber plantation) and began our first pitching of bashas. after all the pitching, we had our 1st ever meal of field rations, a rough impression of all the food we wuld b having over the next 7 days out in da field. to many, the food actually tasted rather nice. but to a few people, there were plenty of complains to be heard throughout field camp. over the next 2 days at this rubber plantation campsite, we had many field lessons and practised tactical movements (which involve crawling around in ant infested patches, patches of grass which people from a certain platoon pee-ed into). all these came to an end with a test that tested our ability to work in a group and handle situations like artillery strikes and other such things. we then packed up our stuff and prepared to head to the next campsite (a 8km march at night)

Day 4/5 (5th to 6th May)
the night before was when we came to this campsite. during the night march, a person fell out for some heat exhaustion thingy. tink it was heat stroke. had to be heli-evac to CGH. yea, luckily for us, when we reached there, the weather was supposedly Cat 1(meaning thunderstorm) and so we were asked to sleep in the buildings there. this campsite was made to look like a village thus there were buildings in the area. when day 4 began, we had 2 start pitching our bashas again. since my platoon was the duty platoon, we were tasked with the job to dig shit holes (holes which u shit in duh). halfway through our rigorous digging process, it turned Cat 1 again, and this time, it really poured. first we were asked to hide in our bashas. but this experience taught us that probably the SAF never did test their equipment before declaring it waterproof. hiding in the basha made us feel as though we were still out in the open as rain juz continued coming in. causing us and our bags to all get totally drenched. that was when they got all of us to get into the buildings again. but without our bags. upon our return to the basha about 3 hrs later, it was all a wreck. there were even some bashas where the groundsheet on the floor was no longer visible. totally covered over by water that had accumulated. my basha was luckier. though my stuff were soaked, it still looked reasonably okay to sleep in. so our 1st night at the campsite involved us sleeping in a soaked up basha with our own wet uniforms. then came the 2nd day, the day that we all were looking forward to. it was the "technical break" (which simulates the time where we get extracted from war back to safe zone to relax) where we were allowed to wash our stuff, relax, talk cock with each other and sleep loads in the buildings. the night was also in the building.

Day 6 (7th May)
this day, we headed out to our last campsite. a reclaimed land. sounds good doesnt it. the sight isnt. the lack of tree cover meant that the area was an extreme heat zone during the day. the fact that the area was reclaimed meant that the area was suffering from a mosquito and sandfly infestation. hell yea. then we had to dig shellscrapes (which may look like a grave to the unknowing person) and yea, we had 2 sleep in them for the last night out in the open. but yea, it was fun digging that hole. lolx. actually, the entire day was spent digging the freaking hole. when u look from the outside of the campsite, man, the area looks like mass graves. the only problem was that we were digging em 4 ourselves. wad a sad life we lead. digging our own graves. yea. the night was reasonably okay. though we were lied to. we were told we can sleep all the way till 7am. but at 5am, artillery alert was sounded. man that felt so fucked up.

Day 7 (8th May)
after the arti alert, we had our breakfast and loaded onto the tonners to be transported to the BIC (Battle Innoculation Course). this is where, we were supposed to be exposed to real war like situations. we had to leopard crawl and back crawl 80m with live fire from a GPMG (General Purpose Machine Gun which happens to be the infantry's worse nightmare). after the crawl, all our elbows were in shit condition. abrasions hurt like hell. hu wouldnt get abrasions from crawling through coarse sand? man. it sure hurt. even now, my elbows look like shit. but o well, its the army. after tt, we had a march back to camp which was filled with enthusiasm as the thought of having a shower, lie down on a real bed, use handfone, haf a fan and a table to gather around to slack, came into our minds.

now tt field camp is over, i get to enjoy this extended weekend. but then, upon returning to camp tmr night, i will haf to prepare to go outfield for another 3 days for my situational test which tests our ability to work with strangers to complete designated missions. the people u work with will be frm ur company but theres this freakin high chance that u wun get to be with people u actually noe. tt kinda makes things harder especially if u get ppl tt r so enthu to go into command schools to the extent that they will do so much things to try 2 improve their chances but thus jeopardising the whole group of people chances.

2006-04-23T00:06:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : My Chemical Romance - The Ghost Of You

As the 2nd week of BMT draws to a close, its a happy day as the recruits book out but in all their minds, they all know tt the fun and pleasure will soon cease to exist as the confinement period perishes. Over the past 2 weeks, mistakes are often dismissed with the comment tt they r juz learning 2 adapt and so punishments are unnecessary but now... with the beginning of the shit to come, punishments will come so often tt a period of free time will be cheered for. tts wad im guessing for now. even during the confinement period, we haf gotten 70 push ups for punishment b4 warmups for our SOC component. i really wonder how will things shape up after i take the fast craft back to our beloved island tmr night. will the SOC punishments remain the same? or will they double? these will only be known tmr.

- ENTRY REMOVED -

other than all these, i dun tink theres anything else i can write here. im kinda stoned now thx 2 the lack of sleep i had last night... 5 hrs and a fever... adds up to shitty sleep. hopefully 2nite i can cover up for it. then i will b fighting fit on monday and ready 2 take all the punishments. by the way, tekong food is actually damn nice.. lolx. i never expected it to be tt good..

2006-04-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : The All-American Rejects - It Ends Tonight

well yea... army life has begun for a period of about 4 days? lolx. i tink so. actually lose track of time and date when u r on tt island. considering how all ur actions are based on the short timespans given by ur superiors tt u haf 2 echo. everytime they announce the time u haf 2 assemble u gotta echo it... man... echoing everything makes me feel damn weird. so yea... the 1st day was definitely relaxing... go in wif parents... listen 2 all tt nonsense... then with all the shit they tell ur parents, they do different things 2 u... the 1 hr admin time, is like... 5 mins after u do everything. they dismiss u late after the Routine Orders (RO) , then u queue up 2 bathe and then there is always tt occasional shit u haf to do. like over the past few days, we haf 2 do up our helmet, SBO all in our free time... with all these workload on our shoulders, we even HAVE to call back. lolx... where r we 2 find the time... at exactly 1030, they begin screaming LIGHTS OUT! and we haf 2 comply. failure to comply results in a bloody load of scolding. lolx. but over the past 2 nites, things seem 2 b picking up... the officers seem 2 b coming in less. but tt constant knocking on the wall behind me n my fellow bunk mates doesnt seem 2 b ceasing and it really is beginning to irritate us...

over the other days, we haf visited the live firing range, visited the lecture theatre countless times where we fall aslp multiple times then wake up, then slp again. lolx. we haf also done countless amount of drills... so many times, tt uve got the bloody commands stuck in ur head... nt tt i dun haf the commands in my head from my NPCC time, but yea seriously, the amount of times they repeat the commandsm, ur head loses all other information and only stores the commands. lolx. so tts y they keep saying ppl become stupid in NS. lolx. cos information gets replaced by commands and timings. lolx. we've got our freaking WIVES oredi! lolx. rifles la... Rifle 185. tts my rifle, my wife and the freaking thing tt i haf 2 protect and prevent ppl frm stealing. i can sense... tt there will be sneak atks on our wives at field camp, and tts where our protection lvl has 2 b increased. lolx. everyday, practice folding the uniform sleeves from long4 to smart4, then doing the hemet camo netting, doing up the SBO's waterbottle compartments and also attaching the bayonet to it, and now we also gotta regularly practice hw 2 strip our weapons and reassembling the parts into a rifle tt can still fire. lolx. speaking abt tt, theres a guy in my section... tt can freaking strip the weapon so damn fast. we call him... the gun-nerd... he's probably the guy tt isnt really in the group of us while the remaining 12 of us r rather bonded. with terminator (IPPT champion) leading our sections charge, im sure we can make the platoon best PT in our section. lolx. his IPPT is power la. SBJ jump out of the markings on the mat (aka mre than 260cm), pullups 17!, 2.4 (2nd place)... man... a monster he is. lolx. he's got all our respects from tt. at least he's btr than a certain guy frm the platoon tt claims he will BE the platoon best PT hu has muscles the size of a car tyre (im exaggerating duh)... but happened to gfail 2.4(according to some rumours, but im starting 2 doubt it)... haha, so im kinda confident platoon best PT will b our dear terminator

and... something real embarassing happened to me... but yea, i tink i shall not talk abt it... as long as no1 mentions it in the camp, i will b ok. nt tt it will b ok if mentioned outside camp, but yea... as long as its nt mentioned, that would be best.

on another note, im hoping i can train my shooting to be the best shot. lolx... miss air rifle, but i also gotta admit the M16 is way different frm the air rifle. there r so many drills u gotta learn in the M16... so much till u even gotta do a freaking drill if ur rifle jams on u while in the process of firing. hw m i 2 rmb so much information. i probably gotta remove all the A level stuff in my head and dump them into the bin 2 contain all the information im gonna get frm the BMT phase of my NS life. and tt doesnt include all the other phases in my NS life.

bah this has been a freaking long entry... and yes... if i was in camp, i HAVE to be asleep by now. if nt tmr, i will b such a dead PANDA. lolx. with eye bags and the feeling to sleep at everything. but since im at the comfort of my home thx 2 the good friday holiday, i shall enjoy the freedom i can get here. apparently, the officers and sgts of Cougar Company are gonna b at MOS tonight for a "gathering". lolx... oyea, dint mention...

Company: COUGAR
Platoon: 4
Section: 3
Bed: 12

2006-04-07T12:03:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Placebo - Special K

haha, finally it has come. the period of time where the government pays me money 2 eat food and stay in their island resort. isnt it good. they pay us money, but the only time we can spend the money is on weekends which theres a pretty high chance i will not haf the mood to spend. but apparently confinement for me may juz turn out to be 5 days thx to the good friday public holiday. i guess tt will prevent my withdrawal symptoms from kicking in. i cant predict wad might happen when i cant use the computer for a whole 2 weeks. lolx. so it will b lucky if the confinement is only 5 days. ive survived Bintan (10 days) so i guess i can survive this. this should be my last post b4 i enter unless 2nite i got the mood 2 blog again but that will juz b lame.

yea, so im in the middle of packing my dumb bag and i realise... that i dun haf a big enough bag. trying to stuff everything into my regular soccer bag juz failed as i realised i lacked the space for tt extra set of civilian clothings tt im supposed 2 stuff in 4 recruits night? wad a lame thing 2 add in. probably i shd juz not bring it. well, gotta look 4 a bigger bag then. the list actually said tt there isnt anything much to bring, but i guess, all singaporeans r kiasu (like me) and will go down 2 beach road and buy stuff in preparation for the lack of stuff provided at tt island resort. thus, the small amount of stuff 2 bring in fact inflates to quite a bit. and i wonder how big a bag john khoo is gonna use. according to shaun, he apparently has even bought the stuff for field camp. man, i say he is excited abt camps. probably nvr been 2 any of those UG camps in his life. but yea, khoo, if u really brought a radio, im so gonna borrow it... imagine listening to MCR - The Ghost Of You in camp and remembering the MTV. man, wad a way to spend NS. but yea, i will haf my handfone wif me. the thing crucial to my enjoyment of NS, a gd way to relax at night. playing bounce... on my 6610... and sms-ing ppl... tt r so lucky they arent in there... which arent many ppl actually...

in there, i will most probably lose track of all the top songs on the charts so i guess i will need ppl 2 renavigate me and send me the songs. heh. as for soccer, that is 1 thing tt is hard 2 lose track of. lolx. almost every1 in camp will b toking abt it. lolx. World Cup... by tt tym i will already be posted in my unit... i tink...

yea, ok, i gotta go bathe and go out... will b back like at night or smth... when im in camp, u can contact me through sms... but replies will b late. lolx. yep. take care =) i'll b back soon. LOLX

"when i'm gone, don't mourn" Eminem - When I'm Gone.

LOLX!!!!

2006-04-02T08:07:00.000+08:00

*Edited on 3/4/06

Song I'm Listening To : PCD - Beep

well.. juz got home frm clubbing/breakfast.... yea... clubbing was... okay... crowded... packed... coccolatte is rather small... lolx. ytd supposedly my "last" tym b4 NS... lolx. wonder if tt is true... lets c... spent... 48 bucks i tink...

Entry - $14
Jug Of Vodka Lime (Shared among 4 ppl) - FREE
Tequilla Shot X2 - $22
Sex on the Beach - $10
Jug Of Vodka Sprite (Shared) - FREE
Glass Of Bourbon Coke (Shared) - FREE

oops... 46 bucks... count wrongly... hu on earth told me... 48... derrick i tink... grr...

after clubbing... my freaking ear stud broke while waiting for the darn macdonalds to open... the gayass manager duwan open the door for us to go in earlier. lolx... he exactly wait till 6 then begin 2 unlock the doors. well at least he opened at the right time and not later. lolx. hw many of u haf actually tried gettin spit all over ur face. lolx. i can tell u, its nt a nice feeling. lolx.. experienced it... though it was only an accident. but yea... still kinda shitty feeling... try tt again, and i will make sure tt u wun haf a chance 2 spit at all again...

so many things happening... and the gay NS is approaching. lolx... at 1st, right after As was like so darn excited 2 go into tt island. but after enjoying so many months of fun and laughter, the entry into tt island juz doesnt seem that appealing anymore. but there is a few benefits i can extract frm the island... such as the fact tt they actually pay us money 2 eat their food. lolx. pay us money tt we wun haf the time to spend. lolx. but sadly, during the period inside, i will also haf no time 2 slack around much anymore. lolx.

furthermore, keep thinking of stuff... bad 4 my health. lolx... shd juz sit back and relax while the days to enlistment counts down. looking at the blogs of other people hu r already inside, there r mixed sentiments abt the PTP training they r having now. some r clearly saying its slack, but there r some oredi suffering. lolx. wad will happen when BMT comes man... Ninja company any1? lolx. luckily im in school 1 and Ninja is in school 2. though i would really want to try being in Ninja company. lolx. if it doesnt kill u, it will definitely make u stronger. lolx.

ok then... ive got nothing else to say. tmr probably going to ECP... dunno do wad also... cyaz

2006-03-23T23:53:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : My Chemical Romance - To The End

wah shiok. 2dae woke up at 7am juz to go down to Barker 2 visit old teachers b4 playing soccer at NIE. visitin the teachers was like damn interesting la. 1st... A.Ho. damn interesting la. talk abt our A results and listening to him complaining tt he has 2 teach upper sec geog. lolx. he is as usual damn funny with all the cursing and swearing. 2nd... John Chao... lolx... never thought tt i would wind up in his fishbowl of a classroom ever again. things looked the same other than the addition of a few dumb cupboards which he was so damn proud of... so sad. he dint recognise me... only said tt CJC ppl muz b havoc.. [referring to my ear stud]... 3rd... Tang.C.K... lolx... man he has changed much... seems so hip nw la. lolx... last tym still so strict. nw ask me if i got go party. lolx. then there was..... [oh shit. wads her name agn? the SS teacher]... yea... she did not recognise me! her bloody SS REP!!! omg! well... seems like she still has her job. lolx. tts good for her. then we went down to the mathematics department and had a short chitchat with... VING! lolx... cool. nw the HOD of maths. and there was Ben Ho doing relief teaching and complaining abt hw students of AJC are freakin muggers. so much so tt they even get a chalet....... to study tgt! lolx... so fun lor.

yea after all tt went 2 play soccer. for 2 freakin hours under the hot sun. but it was damn fun la. lolx. scoring so many goals and watchin ppl do retarded stuff. remind me never 2 run into ron ever again. it hurts... lolx. after all tt, went ard town and listened to ron's advice on pool cues. after everything, ive decided to modify my shopping list... lolx... there will be no mre pool cue on my list cos he said a cue worth ard 199 is roughly of the same standard as in house cues. lolx. so i wonder wad the quality of a 59 dollar cue will be like. lolx. shit standard? probably.

*UPDATED SHOPPING LIST FOR 1ST MONTH

NS Salary = 350
FD3S Model = -75
Sandisk 1GB Mem = -95
PSP Loan = -50
Other Loans = -80
Total = 50 dollar savings. lolx

yea ok... gg out over the next few days again. in the end, havent watched V for Vendetta yet. hopefully i can catch it soon. shaun says next monday. yay. lolx. instead, ive watched Underworld : Evolution. its nt bad sia. lolx. 2 bad i dint watch the 1st 1. but luckily they kinda explained stuff in the show. other movies i wanna watch are... [firewall , inside man , r there anymore? nt sure ]

2006-03-21T01:36:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

hoho... recently been starting 2 catch movies again... before this, i watched like damn little movies la... so yea... watched Final Destination 3 and The Dorm already (2 b explained later) and probably catching V for Vendetta tmr! yay! lolx. check out tt cool mask man. gotta get 1 for myself.

yea... so 2dae woke up at 9+ 2 go down city hall 2 meet shaun and tonia... here comes the giant lightbulb called jerold. lolx. my favourite job. call me down whenever u need a lightbulb. the brightness is adjustable. lolx. yea. so... they were all late... so i stoned with my PSP providing my sole source of entertainment (aka MP3). lolx. when sim arrived, we went 4 bfast b4 meetin tonia 2 go "shopping" at marina sq. lolx. walk ard aimlessly with nothing 2 buy in mind other than shaun's printer cartridge which we eventually got frm... carrefour. yea... after tt, went back marina 2 watch The Dorm... supposedly a horror show... kinda funny though. it wasnt like s though we wanted 2 laugh purposely when it was scary juz 2 annoy ppl... but the entire cinema was laughing too. lolx. everytime tt retarded song came on, ppl juz laughed. interesting... yea after tt, went 4 dinner at....... food court. oh yea... and my mango ice kachang which tonia said looked....... (wad did she say again? oh nvm)

after tt met sherry and her fren and follow ard... went starbucks... chit chat.... go home. lolx... then after slacking awhile, decided to come here and blog... and alvin, if u do read my blog, ur blog is nice and interesting =). LOLX!

2006-03-19T01:27:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Marilyn Manson - Sweet Dreams

hmm... lets c... oh yea. 2dae went 2 play pool... even after me and shaun asking so many ppl, end up only 3 of us go play. lolx. lame... me, shaun and germaine... wad a crowd. lolx... we asked like close to 10 ppl? well. most ended up not free. so its okay la. lolx. if got mre ppl, sure mre fun... yea... after pool... when 2 find dino... hu happened 2 b in the area wif evan and CS... lolx... then eat dinner wif parents then meet them agn... went down far east... bought some retarded handphone attachment thing tt im gonna hang on my PSP. man its hitsugaya. lolx. yea... also got Myth War Online CD wif dino... i play 1st. then tank him when he's out of GUARDS. lolx... i wanna go GUARDS, y u duwan>? lolx... i guess, diff ppl, diff preferences. yea after tt, we slacked around till like 11 before deciding to go home...

before ive even entered NS, ive oredi thought of how im gonna spend the 1st month's pay la. lolx. how advanced can i be... money seems to be limited....

NS Pay => $350
- FD3S Model (excluding casing) => $75
- Pool Cue? => $55
- Outstanding Loans => $50
- Expenses => $50
- Beanie? => $12
--------------------------------------------------
Remainder => $108

wooh. tt seems like a lot of remaining cash... wonder if theres any mre stuff i wuld like 2 buy. lolx... wait till i actually c the money then i'll noe if theres any mre things 2 buy... been spending the past few days following dino around in town and bugis helping him find 4 means 2 spend $100. lolx... i guess tts wad NS does to u... give u money 2 spend.... lolx... but got so much money also dunno where 2 spend on... rather sianz... ok since im so bored now... i tink i shall give Myth War a chance 2 show me wad its made off now... cyaz when i blog agn...

2006-03-15T01:18:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Jay Chou - Feng

well... rather long no blog... needa blog if nt got nth 2 do. yea. thx sherry for all the songs. lolx... i definitely need new songs... so every1, pls send me songs if uve got nth else 2 do too. lolx. 2dae went bowling after such a long time with shaun, eric, stella, dino, germ and sherry... i shd stop "cracking my knuckles" (wadeva the scientific term 4 it is, i dun care) cos i cant stuff my fingers into the bowling balls without hurting myself. lolx. yea... after playing like 2 rather okay games, the 3rd game was real shit. lolx. after bowling, germ and sherry left then we went bugis 2 find lunch where tonia came 2 mit us... go some cafe in bugis street 2 haf food then walk around stoning... some1 shd keep me away frm Initial D machines... when i went into the arcade at bugis, i saw this noob and raced him. lolx... kick ass.

1st round : Lv 5 (me) vs Lv 3 => Result: he got OWNED
2nd round: his fren Lv 9 vs Lv 5 => he used boost... and lost to me... heh
3rd round: some bystander Lv 12 vs Lv 5 => Result: he screwed up early game and i won

hehz... 1 dollar and i win 3 ppl... woot... but i shd really stay away frm arcades oredi la... bad 4 my money... + clubbing in... its no wonder im in this shitty financial state. yea after arcade for awhile... sherry and germ met up wif us agn then we went 2 coffee bean where we resumed stoning. k nt really stoning, but talked alot... talk till wad 9+? lolx. after tt shaun and tonia left and me,dino,germ,sherry went MOS (MOS burger. not Ministry of Sound) for dinner b4 gg hm. so nw here i am stoning... tts y i come 2 blog...

2006-03-07T01:30:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Jay Chou - Feng

umm... ive no idea wad 2 say... 1stly... does any1 noe hw 2 cure a finger tt happens 2 stiffen up like once every 5 secs? cos tts wad my left index finger is doing. at this rate, im nt sure wad will become of it.

2ndly, sry shaun yea... it was wrong of me...

2006-03-02T00:37:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : nothing...

'A' level results r out. im shocked by my results of some subjects and some were expected. or rather only CMaths was expected. it got me my only A grade. lolx. in overall i got ACD and a B3 for GP. C for FMaths and D for Physics. the FMaths was like totally unexpected lor. from F to C la. lolx. and mr lim even said "u were the biggest worry". thx 4 the vote of confidence la. lolx. mrs tai said "u cld do even btr if u started studying earlier." lolx. but D for physics. i dropped. so sad. was hopin for ACC or ABC la. lolx. GP was a weird subject la. there were so many D7s around and they r all unexpected la. well nw tt it is all over, i gotta figure out hw 2 count the points. i wonder if my results would haf been better or worse if i didnt haf 2 go through tt issue last year during revision period.

btw, if u havent found out yet. *mystery* is no longer in my life. she is like totally avoiding me or smth. well its okay. it isnt the 1st time. lets juz say tt somehow... there r 3 grps of girls. 1 grp r those tt avoid me. 2nd grp r those tt tok 2 me till i tell em i like em and then can avoided. and the 3rd grp are those tt dunno me. lolx. yea. i shd juz turn gay or smth. 4 mre details, pm me and i'll c if i can help u.

im having problems. lots of them. argh... worrying abt other ppl. remind me never 2 do tt. it doesnt benefit me in any way. where were u? i was lookin for u. but i could never find u. wtf m i tokin abt. is there gonna b any chance? no1 noes. but im gettin tired of all this.

k before i tok even mre nonsense, i shall log off nw.

2006-02-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

haha this is incredible. this post is entirely done on a psp. thx to wireless connectivity at macs. ohyea 4got to blog that ive gotten myself a white psp along with bren. lolx despite all our attempts to get it frm lucky plaza, it turns out that they were out to cheatppl of their money. 4 example there was this guy tt offered us a cheap offer, but it turns out that they had removed the batt pack. wad dicks. anyway this is gettin tirin so yea, gtg.

2006-02-26T01:39:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Jay Chou - Ye Qu (Nocturne)

RESULTS OUT ON MARCH FIRST. not funny... y is it 2 days earlier than predicted date of 3rd march. in the middle of the week somemore. zzz. i can see it all so clearly now. after every1 has collected their results slip. it will only be me, tt hides in 1 corner and cries about hw i failed my Fmaths... its so clear in my head tts its haunting me. to the extent tt i cant sleep... wad if it really happens. with every1 doing well and me failing my subs. where will i end up? haiz... the thought of it will only juz cause more sleepless nights. good luck to every1 tt r collecting their results on tt day. dun fight wif me 4 tt corner 2 cry in. lolx.

2006-02-13T15:23:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Initial D - Crazy For Love

haha... its been a long time... well my bid to get some1 out 4 vday for the 1st tym in my sad life juz kinda disappeared in my face. lolx. its alright. lolx. the 18th time im gonna spend vday at home/in school alone/in big grp. lolx. another matter... needa hunt down tt china fucker... on friday at suntec meet him, come n "teach" me hw 2 drive. on saturday c him losin 2 ryousuke 5 times on tsuchi. wad a moron. i ask him challenge me, he still say wait another day... if i c him, he might s well throw away his car... FC3S vs. GC8V

btw, any1 has any songs 2 recommend me? i wanna get the yellowcard album if there r mre nice songs in it... Lights and Sounds is good. lolx

2006-01-19T01:13:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : HIGH and MIGHTY COLOR - Ichirin no Hana ~Huge Hollow Mix~

well... my blog like got no1 come de. lolx. tts good... then can really say everything here liao... use as personal diary... yea life's been shitty recently... all ive been doing is hanging ard... but hang ard so much, the thoughts in my head are still outta control...

saw her 2dae... at orchard mrt on my way hm... and she was wif him... wad a nice sight 2 c 2 end my day... i feel like shit nw... though i can say i dun tink abt it anymore... but upon seeing, i feel sian again... always happens 2 b doesnt it... tinking back, it has been like 2/3 times over the course of 2005... jz hope tt 2006 can get better yea... guess ive had enuf of all this things fucking me upside down 1 by 1... ive now got this shitass feeling tt the A levels r gonna blow up in my face and gimme FUCKED up results... then tt wld so kill me...

been initial-d-ing alot... lolx. wad a term... yea been racing ard wif bren and other fellows tt accept my challenge or challenge me... my FD is now a level 4 car... doing quite well in it... jz tt cant beat takumi on tou ban or bunta on anyother map other than iro... lolx

bleach is out... go download and watch. its nice... cyaz

2006-01-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Eminem - Hailies Song

yea... decided to blog mainly cos i gotta advertise this picture. rmb my last post mentioning the party at indochine. yea. here is the poster.

yea ok. nw tt ive put the poster. if u wanna go, can tell me, and i'll help u tell the right people. lolx. yep... bah been hanging around arcades too much. CNY shopping aint complete and only gotten a shirt... lacking many stuff. lolx... still looking 4 something... actually i dunno wad... lolx... Initial D, finally cleared all stages and left with Takumi and Bunta to challenge... almost done... cant wait... Bleach 63 out... claims 2 b nt a filler episode... btw wtf is a filler episode. bleach portal says the nxt few episodes will be fillers... dun tell me it means episodes tt show stuff frm previous episodes... tt will b boring... or rather interesting depending on wad they decide to repeat. still waitin 4 toysrus 2 call me... take somemore tym and im sure 2 burn down 1 store per day till they pass me my pay... or i cld sign up 4 nxt stocktaking and make sure they have no mre stocks to count... tt would be good...

n life without school... is rather boring... but i sure am enjoying it... with the company of frenz... we gotta organise some dota thing man... then haf every1 go down and play 4 fun... not like some competitive match... lolx... invite alvin along too... i dunno... lolx... tts up 2 u guyz...

2006-01-08T10:26:00.000+08:00

Song I'm Listening To : Initial D - Save Me

has any1 seen 2dae's new paper? lolx. it talks about the happenings of the xmas party tt we were at. hw true when they mention hw girls get groped along the streets by everybody including foreign workers and even some locals. those foreign workers were really a nuisance ehz. lolx. the chinese bengs shd haf juz beat em up for us. y give em chance and jz use the snow sprays on them. there juz aint enough effect using the sprays. lolx. really wonder where tt ambulance, fire engines me n bren saw on NYE were going. it so seemed like they were taking the road towards Little India. perhaps some chinese beng got frustrated and went there 2 start a fire. but tt seems remotely possible.