I so hate myself

Alright! todae sch ended early. only 230 la. lol. durin tt few hrs in sch, we had a play tt taught us how 2 handle stress (man tt seriously helped la), i seriously need stress management. The day also saw us go through a very intensive game of netball where mathew played damn well la. lol. make me run around jz 2 catch him b4 he can get the ball. lol. The game of netball was so hot la. the sun blazing down on us, makin us feel like we were playin in the Sahara more than in a court of CJC. lol. but this blazing sun was short lived, half an hour after the game, clouds begin 2 draw in bringin in heavy showers. my zen micro almost kena the water la. imagine if it got drowned by the rain, i tink i will cry like shit la. tt is my prized baby la. Thx 2 the rain, everywhere became so cold la. Make me so sleepy. lucky i kepy myself awake during GP. But it was during this lesson, tt the reality of the kind of friends i haf struck me again. Leaving me 2 be in Jon Sim's group was torture la. Wad did u all do? quickly run into each other's groups. lucky i haf my own ability 2 answer qns. After a boring day in the school, i then went to the range to train. wow, my groupin is improvin by so much. woohoo. 1 blasted zone and 1 stray shot. time 2 train 2 remove tt stray shot and shrink the blast zone. after tt, i m sure i can help team CJC climb to greater heights. Mathew's training also paying off. I can foresee his future in the team. lol.

Today, i managed 2 start conversation wif *mystery*. Man, i hate myself so much now. Y is it tt i like her so much but dare not to even open my mouth 2 tok 2 her? I really wanna tok 2 her 2 get 2 noe her better la. But wad m i doin, everytime i c her, my mind goes blank and its like as though some1 clamped down my tongue. how how? I hope this will all pick up soon. i haf half a year left in CJC before i go into NS. By tt time, i tink it will be hard 4 me 2 keep in contact wif her oredi. Hopefully, in June holidays, i can ask her 2 go out. hopefully. i can only hope... signing off