Song I'm Listening To : None [songs in portable]
Mood : depressed.angryATmyself

just destroyed another friendship
why is it my fault again
why do i always do this kinda shit
why why why
where are the answers
ive never seen the answers
only that it happens time and time again
with me as the main cause of it all
its just me
i should disappear into oblivion
such that i wun cause such problems
ever... again

i didnt mean for it to turn out this way
is there no way of reversing it
i was not making use of you

Song I'm Listening To : some sounds from the tv
Mood : .Puzzled.

ok. after looking through my posts, ive removed content related to training.

my first day at GSAB as a real spec was a rather boring day as usual. i was brought around learning the ropes from my 2 senior specs and also gettin my formation badge and infantry skill tabs. apart from all these, the day went by rather smoothly.

man... my head is in a mess. i dunno what the shit im thinking, saying and doing. thinking about things all the way from the beginning of my JC life and up till now. all the memories in this period of time, seem so familiar. its like things r repeating themselves over and over again. things that r unhappy and shdnt be repeating so often. however, the nice things never do repeat themselves. if only they did. there r many such memories that i would love reliving. but those that i want to put out of my life, keep reappearing. something really got to me juz now... but this will be kept to myself. it got to me rather badly i muz say. need some time 2 chill and relax. probably the Echo outing will help things better. maybe i need some alcohol too.

need a drinking buddy. one to drink all the way with me.
need a buddy. one that really noes me and not my fake identity. one that i can talk to at ease.

Song I'm Listening To : Panic At The Disco! - But It's Better If You Do
Mood : .Lost.UnableToThinkStraight.CantFigureOutThings.

well... tomorrow will be the actual day that work begins at my posting at GSAB HQ. over the past days since POP, ive been at GSAB HQ (Rifle Range Camp 1) watching what the other RP specialists and men do during their shifts and learning the ropes from em. oh yea, i didnt tell u guyz, my job at GSAB HQ will be that of a RP Specialist (RP COMMANDER or u can call it SECURITY GUARD.zzz). Out of the 4 of us posted to GSAB HQ as RP specs, we all got posted out to different places. im staying at GSAB HQ (PAD) while chew yi goes to PLAD (Pasir Laba Ammo Dump) and the other 2 go TAD (Tengah Ammo Dump) and PYAD (Paya Lebar Ammo Dump). PAD is relatively convenient to go other than the long way into the camp from the main road. my job is from 8am to 5pm thus i can go for dinner with u guyz if u guyz want. leave me a sms if u wanna. my phone is reachable 24/7 unless its outta batt. lolx.

other than this... things havent been going well... just today... many things happened. my D drive juz got problems and blew up... all my stuff tt r stored in there r nw unretrievable... luckily my music and anime (except Air Gear which was recently relocated into D drive) are all saved. 103 episodes of Bleach. phew. imagine downloading those again. lolx. another major issue... i shall not talk about here... it is this other issue that is causing me the most headache... its killing me... if it wasnt bad enough to be left alone at GSAB HQ, things had to get worse... losing a fren like tt... WTF la... FUCK IT MAN! zzz... cant take this la...

as for the outing this weekend... too lil response then fucking dun go lor. zzz... kaobei, say lousy organiser. fuck off la... u so zai, u go fucking do. dun fucking push to me. i give u my 8 to 5 job la. talk so much shit.

i need some1 to talk to man. some1....

Song I'm Listening To : The Sad Sounds of my Life

many things have gone by since the last tym ive blogged. this is actually the 2nd tym im blogging this entry so im kinda upset by the fact ive gotta type again.

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POP
1 week after touching back down on Singapore soil, its time for my POP oredi. the day itself was supposed to be a cheerful occasion but the screwing up of the parade and the posting was out to ruin my day. the parade was rather crappy considering all the effort we had placed into it over the many rehearsals that we had. furthermore, i got some lame ass posting. im supposed to report to Rifle Range Camp Ammo Base to work. what a waste of time man. same as after BSLC, im gonna write a few words for ma good friends.

- ENTRY REMOVED -