as the birthday celebrations are over, the cab ride home with shaun was insightful. thanks bro.

jo's birthday celebration was at ALOHA LOYANG (which is really far leh jo. ass). before heading down, was treated to a delicious piece of news. 1 which i had to dig out myself. guess you never had the intention to tell me. 

met weili and hit the arcade before going down to the chalet to catch up with the other guys whom i havent met in a long time. as we sat down and played cards, mahjong and finally taboo, my mind was always focused on what you told me. even people around me could tell i wasnt my normal self. thats how distracted i was. 

i made a phone call to you. and you told me "at least he thinks im important". so to you, ive never found you important. please ask the people around me what they think about your sentence. if i didnt find you important, would i have done all that i did for you? maybe i just havent done enough eh?

im CONFUSED. im LOST. i dont even know what i just wrote in this FUCKING blog post. im gonna go sleep now. 

you dont think you're important to me?

i'll do something to show you what you mean to me.

FOR YOU.

as the white stripe goes away...

for those who have seen my lancer recently, u wouldve noticed the white bumper mounted on a all black car. who wouldve thought that was the effect of a really moronic accident (reversing into a wall whilst parking in my very own condo which ive parked in for many many times).
the first thought i had when i was told my new bumper was gonna be white, was 1 that the car would look like a freak. sure, it did sound weird for a black car to have a white ass. as i went to collect my car back from my uncle, the sight that i saw was 1 which i loved so much. i grew fond of the white stripe. no idea if you guyz that saw it liked it though.

i thought what mattered was if i liked it. apparently, it doesnt work that way in my family. so 1st, im now told to take public transport if im going out with my friends. only allowed to drive when its for the family or for the 2 rare days of going to school. then suddenly, news breaks to me that my car will be picked up by the uncle tomorrow for a paint job. there goes the white stripe. was i ever consulted for my opinion? democracy doesnt exist. dictatorship does. as my white stripe disappears, i wonder whats gonna happen to the rest of the car with little use.

if u guyz still wanna meet me out late at night, gimme a lift. im too broke to cab midnight surcharge anymore. i always thought it was right to send my friends home if i make em stay out past midnight. but apparently the family doesnt think so. i should dump my friends and make a beeline home and get em to cab home emselves. im such a saint.

take care guyz

its been awhile again since my last post. getting hard to regularly update this blog with my desktop in the final stages of its life. speaking of final stages of life, ive seen for my own eyes how a person's life can abruptly shorten and come to an end.

this started approximately a year back when initial news of my aunt's cancer came to our knowing. back then, she still looked as healthy as ever. keeping up her pace in maintaining the household of my 2nd aunt, and taking care of my bed-ridden grandma. my aunt had definitely put in a lot of effort to help others, to the extent that she didnt enjoy life's pleasures herself. trips to foreign countries were few and even then, it'll be short trips to nearby countries. back then, it was known that she wanted to visit korea. a wish which would never be met.

fast forward a few months of treatment and all. aunt was told that the illness was clearing. surely, every1 was pleased and life went back to normal for all of us. she continued watching over the household of her younger sis and continued with the routine feeding, cleaning and what nots of the elderly grandma. all of a sudden this year, my aunt complained of irritations and problems breathing. symptoms she had been so familiar with during the earlier courses of the cancer stages. doctor then confirmed that, the illness was back again.

the doctor, careful not to let my aunt know, informed my 2nd aunt that she had only 6 months left max. this news spread amongst the family and preparations were under way. 2nd aunt's family wanted to bring her on a trip to korea, the place she so longed to go. but with all the sudden care and attention, it was pretty much evident to her that her life wasn't gonna last. she rejected the offer to go to korea. and continued looking after the grandma. even when she knew her time was coming to an end, she continued on.

before even half the 6 predicted months had passed, its 05/09/08 (also the fateful day i rammed my car's rear bumper into the wall but thats another story). before this day, my aunt had already been warded. on this day, the doctor informed us that the amount of morphine given to my aunt had been increased. as her breathing became more and more laboured, we all knew that it was coming to an end. the doctor confirmed with us that she had only 1-2 days left. 

just as the doctor had said, my aunt passed away peacefully in her sleep at 2AM 07/09/08. 

all her funeral preparations were pre-arranged by her. she had informed my 2nd aunt of which companies to call and who should be told of her death. she had known that her time was coming to an end. and faced it bravely. 

i miss her. may she rest in peace.